I was just a kid when I first saw the lines, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
This might have been the first occasion where I ran across something that made me wonder why it didn’t get said when it should’ve got said, and included where it should’ve been included.
There are over 31,000 words in the King James Version. Why have a bunch of scribes fighting with quill and ink to only update us on genealogy, “And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech…”? Think how different human history would have been if we hadn’t had to wait until the 1700’s for someone to write, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.”
Boom. Spell it d u n, call the concept done.
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King Solomon went on and on about wisdom, but I had to learn “Don’t sell your horse to buy a saddle,” from my uncle. He also gave me, “Don’t borrow money to buy a wallet.”
My father picked up many truisms from missionary trips, like this one, “Life is short, but it’s wide.”
“Don’t eat the yellow snow,” is worthy information, but isn’t worthy of the Black Book, but I wish the Bible had more humor, a little Yogi Berra to warn us about human nature, “Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.” O for an Old Testament prophet like Yogi, some King James variation on “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”
My apologies to ole timey Southern Footloose Baptists about a reference to dancing, but “You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt,” could have done us a lot more good than a bunch of rules about what not to do on the Sabbath…or Saturday night…
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It would have been nice if in childhood Sunday School I’d been introduced to the three little words that open up the book, The Road Less Traveled, “Life is difficult.” King Solomon went on and on about harlots and fallen women, but couldn’t put these three words together…
How ‘bout this jewel from Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”
Long after the Bible is compiled along comes Shakespeare with this sweetie, “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” Nice and tight and again with wondering how wisest-who-ever-lived Solomon missed this one…
My father was always on and on about how Christian salvation “saved us for earth now and for heaven later.” C.S. Lewis said it this way, “Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.” It was Lewis in Mere Christianity, that laid it simple, for all who’ve ever questioned their faith, that Jesus was either a liar (evil), or a nuthead, or He really was the Messiah. Truth is, I wish Jesus had said it that clearly…and not leave it to an Oxford man…
We had to wait until George Orwell to make plain the nature of mankind, “On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” Sounds like somebody who’s been reading my diary.
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If the Bible had a book titled Not Quite Good Enough For Proverbs then Oscar Wilde would get a chance to say, “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” (He also had a useful quote about intimacy, “I have no objection to anyone’s sex life as long as they don’t practice it in the street and frighten the horses.”) (That quote always gets me. Picture me smiling.)
We’d all lower our healthcare expectations if there was a passage that said, “Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.” Sound medical advice would be more useful to us than a thousand verses about the Philistines…”Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night,” is practical information.
Do we need more imagery in the Bible to scare us of hell? One writer said, “I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.” There’s an old joke along the same lines: in heaven the French are the cooks, the English are the Police and the Germans are the engineers; in hell the English are the cooks, the French are the engineers and the Germans are the police. Somehow that seems clearer than fire ‘n brimstone, especially to Europeans…
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There’s some heavy duty stuff out there that’s outside the sacred text. There’s this guy, Ghandi, and here he goes on Seven Deadly Sins…”Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” I’d call that a fine meal.
(Seriously, look at this Ghandi guy, “It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” (No room for dessert.))
Verses and verses about how to sacrifice a burnt offering, but how about something about living an authentic life? Here’s Oscar Wilde again, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
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I know my place with God. We’ve been back ‘n forth and He gets me more than I’ll ever get Him. Sometimes I think He enjoys watching me play with the quirky mind that He gave me.
Here’s C. S. Lewis again, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” Mr. Lewis, I’d like to have a few moments of eternity with you…
Closing now, after serious and silly, I quote something that made the Biblical cut, only two words, and together, great power, “Jesus wept.” Maybe one day, I’ll know exactly why…
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This edition of Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories is brought to you by Eighty-one, where we appreciate getting to question, but assume that He that knows, knows why…
Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories are posted on Eighty-one’s Facebook page. Uncle P can be reached at 81creativity@gmail.com.
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