Paddling In A Pumpkin

admin Friday, December 9, 2022 Comments Off on Paddling In A Pumpkin
Paddling In A Pumpkin

Duane Hansen has fulfilled a long-held dream: to paddle the Missouri River in a pumpkin. On Aug. 27, Hansen set out in an 846-pound pumpkin for a 38-mile float on the Big Muddy to celebrate his 60th birthday. “I’ve been dreaming about this,” he said. “This has been a five-year journey to get a pumpkin that’s big enough.” Hansen grew the pumpkin himself; his wife named it Berta.

Nudity News

— On Aug. 20, New Hampshire Fish and Game officers, along with a member of the U.S. Forest Service, were called to an Appalachian Mountain Club hut in Bethlehem to confront Brian Cheverier. Around 6 pm, Cheverier was found atop the hut, naked. He had been threatening hikers. Officers said he was “highly agitated.” Cheverier descended from the roof of the hut around 10 pm and was escorted to the Zealand Trailhead parking lot, where he was taken into custody.

— Amanda Kean of Providence, R.I., headed out for work in the early hours with her earpods in, listening to a true-crime podcast. On her 45-minute trip to Easton, Mass., she stopped for gas. It wasn’t until she arrived at her workplace, Honey Dew Donuts, that she discovered a stowaway in her back seat. “I heard moaning, like a moaning noise,” she said. “I rolled down my window because I wanted to check outside. I realized it was not coming from outside my truck, it was coming from inside of my truck.” Tucked on the floor in the back seat was Jose Osorio of Providence, R.I. And he was mostly naked. Police said he was “extremely intoxicated” and had also consumed marijuana. He was charged with breaking and entering a vehicle. Kean was unhurt but “was so mad. If he had made noises or popped up while I was driving, I could’ve crashed.”

He Did Not Need More Coffee

On a flight from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, to Los Angeles, passengers got a ringside seat as Alexander Tung Cuu Le of Westminster, Calif., lost his cool over coffee service. Shortly after takeoff, as flight attendants were serving drinks, Le approached an attendant and grabbed his shoulder while asking for coffee. Then Le walked to the front of the plane and sat down in a seat near first class. When a flight attendant asked him to return to his own seat, he “assumed a fighting stance toward the flight attendant by making closed fists with both hands,” according to court documents. When the attendant turned away from him, Le slugged him. Passengers subdued Le and he was arrested when the plane landed.

And Why Can’t I See The Pope?

On Oct. 5, an American man asked to see Pope Francis at the Vatican in Rome. When he was told that would not be possible, he hurled a Roman bust to the floor in the Museo Chiaramonti, then upset a second one as he rushed out. The man was detained by Vatican police and turned over to Italian authorities. Both statues were around 2,000 years old. Press office director Matteo Alessandrini said the busts were “affixed to the shelves with a nail, but if you pull them down with force they will come off.” He said restoration work had already begun.

No Flotilla In Alaska 

On Oct. 4, a small boat carrying two men landed near the community of Gambell on northern St. Lawrence Island, Alaska. According to town clerk Curtis Silook, the men told villagers they had sailed over 300 miles from Egvekinot in northeastern Russia and were trying to escape the Russian military draft. Sen. Dan Sullivan conferred with the Department of Homeland Security, and the two men were transported to Anchorage, where federal authorities were sorting out their status. “We don’t anticipate a continual stream of individuals or a flotilla,” Dunleavy said.

Poop Pays Off

Turns out five-year-olds love to scream the word “poop” at Alexa. When they do, she responds with actual songs from Spotify or Amazon Music. When Joey Helpish and his partner, Kristen Muir, realized the potential of such tunes, they went to work with their music students in Oregon. “We did a big songwriting session with these three kids,” he said. “I said, ‘Give me five syllables to start,’ and the little 4-year-old girl screamed, ‘Poopy stupid butt!’” They added the song to Amazon Music and didn’t think much more about it until they were strapped for cash and Helpish checked his account with the online music provider. The couple made about $100 a month until COVID hit and kids were home more. Then profits shot up. To date, their income from “Poopy Stupid Butt” has amounted to about $10,000. The composers of tunes such as the “Poop Poop Poop Poop Song” by Matt Farley believe their hits are largely attributable to the preschool crowd because Amazon Music is the default music provider attached to Alexa. “It’s got to be from Alexa,” Farley said. “Amazon Music isn’t something big music fans use.”

When Goats Want Publicity

Deputy Casey Thrower, a 40-year veteran of the Madison County, Ala., Sheriff’s office, was delivering civil documents when two goats started exploring his patrol car. Thrower found a goat inside the car, chewing on paperwork, and another on top of the vehicle. Fortunately he thought to make a video as he scolded them for their antics, ordering one to get out of the car. “Don’t eat that!” Thrower can be heard yelling. He explained that he often leaves his door open so he can flee from attacking dogs after he delivers documents.

I Correspond With Royalty

Adele Hankey of Park River, North Dakota, was born on April 21, 1926. As such, she shared her birthday with Queen Elizabeth II, who just died. But she shared more than the date. When Elizabeth was crowned in 1952, Hankey wrote her a letter — and the queen responded by sending Hankey a birthday card. “I could have jumped out of my shoes,” Hankey said of the unexpected greeting. Over the past 70 years, the two have exchanged handwritten cards every year. Hankey said she’ll miss the regular communication.

Ostrich Escape 

The Chiang Mai Zoo in Thailand is prepared for animal escapes. On Aug. 23, the zoo staged an annual drill to teach zoo workers how to respond to an ostrich escape. For the drill, one employee dressed in an ostrich costume, complete with tail feathers and a long neck and head, while others chased him through the zoo’s “Africa Zone.” Some couldn’t help giggling as the “ostrich” bobbed his head and body up and down to imitate the bird’s gait. When they “caught” the faux ostrich, they put a hood over its head and led it back to its enclosure.

Bite The Nose

Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey is in the soup after a recent incident at a Arkansas versus Missouri State football game. As fans drove out of the parking lot following the game, Ramsey became enraged when another car made contact with his wheel. According to police, Ramsey left his car and “punched through the back windshield” of the other car. When the driver jumped out, Ramsey “pulled him in close and started punching his body,” then “bit the owner’s nose, ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose.” Ramsey was also heard threatening to kill the other driver. He was charged with felony battery and making a terroristic threat.

The Innovative Thief

Sean Stewart of Snohomish County, Wash., has been doing a lot of fishing lately. Stewart has been using a rodent glue trap attached to a fishing line to take money out of night deposit boxes around the area. “This particular method is pretty unusual; we haven’t seen that one before,” said Jason Toner, chief of the Stanwood Police Department. A Wells Fargo branch in Stanwood was able to capture video of Stewart, who had hit more than a dozen other banks. “He was only successful a few of the many times he tried at area banks,” Toner said. He faces 13 counts of burglary in the second degree.

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