Life 101

Pierre Fontenot Thursday, March 15, 2018 Comments Off on Life 101
Life 101

The mother of Jesus did not have granite countertops.  She had dirt floors and dirty feet.  Maybe keep that in mind when you’re praying for “needs”, lest you hear the giggles of angels…

Everybody needs to know righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.  Whether bolt, screw or lightbulb, you can work with it, or work against it…

Your parents gave you the name, but you get to define it, with every doing you’ll ever do.

You’ve got work to do, if you can’t stand the solitude of your own company.

Twenty Thousand Families Got A Telegram

Don’t disrespect the Big Words.  The Medal Of Honor winner who stormed two machine gun nests by himself, wounded 4 times, armed only with a M1, is an actual hero.  Just being in the military no more makes one a hero than sitting in church makes one a Christian.

Speaking of big words, be careful of how one uses the word “tragedy.”  There was a battle during the American Civil War called Antietam.  22,000 Americans died, in one day.  They ran out of paper to jot figures on to add up the wounded.  22,000 rates the big word.  Any given day in the news, it’s two here, five there, something to be sad about, but over-using tragedy melts the ice right out of the word.

Speaking of big words…we sure throw love around like pennies on the parking lot.

No Graduation Ceremonies From The College Of Common Sense 

We’re not created equal.  Not even siblings in the same family.  Yadda yadda with all that nonsense.

I’d be more liberal if only they’d make me feel safe by thinking it through.  I’d be more conservative if only they’d acknowledge that there’s no improvement in sticking with the devil-you-know.

When you’re around someone who talks about people who aren’t in the room, take it as a given, what’s gonna happen when you’re not in the room.

Idealism reaches.  Practicality gives it a ladder on a flat floor.

If you aren’t living win-win, you’re living you-lose.

Ever wonder how puny a million dollars must look to God?

If your customers are prey, you’ve told the mirror that you’ll settle for a job being a spider.

Just start.  It’s amazing how the first little nothing breaks the logjam.

Whatever is new is already obsolete.  Marketing is just waiting on the prototypes to come from China.

A night sky does wonders for thinking you’re a big deal.

Life is hard.  Until it’s not.  And then it is again.  Until that passes.  Repeat…

People who sell news need news to sell.  The worst of them are car dealers of truth.

Most people who just read the paragraph above think it’s the “other” network that I’m talking about…

The Best Off Is Paid Off 

Changing the oil doesn’t spare you a dead battery.

A mood is an infant of a feeling.

Be wary of women who get dolled up to take a driver’s license picture.

On any given day 5% awake excited about the day.  Another 5% awake worried about the day.  For the rest of us, it’s just the bladder.

Bragging reminds the listener that an empty wagon makes the most noise.

The better dressed you are, the more wary bankers become of loaning you money.

One splinter in your finger makes for a skeptic watching action movies.

Never is never as simple as never.

If the man don’t rate for being a daddy, maybe consider not letting him make you a mother.

_   _  _  _  _  _  _  _   _   _

This edition of Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories is brought to you by Eighty-one, where we think everyone should have ten good stories that turn acquaintances into friends.

Other Bedtime Stories may be found on the Eighty-one Facebook page.  Uncle P can be reached at

Comments are closed.