*** Hey, dis is Pierre’s brudder-in-law Alfonse. I’m still fillin in for Pierre while he’s recuperatin like a boss from a recent surgery. Get well soon!
De day afta de election, you couldn’t hardly find any Louisiana election news because all dat wuz bein’ reported — an I mean all — wuz what Hillary wuz sayin in her concession speech. Maybe dem media folks wuz tinkin dat if dey’d put a little more time into reportin some uf her earlier speeches, dey wouldn’t feel like puttin’ so much time into reportin dis one.
Well, media folks are probably findin out dat it’s hard to get de boat to come back afta it’s already left de dock. But dat doesn’t really have anyting to do wit why I’m makin such a big ting about dis Hillary reportage. I’m sayin I wanted to read about de race for senator uf Louisiana!
Now, like I (and lots uf other folks) predicted, it will end in a run-off. I didn’t really tink a Democrat would be in dat run-off. But I was wrong. De Dec. 10 race will be between Public Service Commissioner Foster Campbell (de Democrat) and Treasury Sec. John Kennedy (de Republican).
I didn’t know Foster had dat kind of name recognition. But he does; eider dat or he was just de one who wuz left afta de udder 21 candidates got all de votes dey wuz gonna get.
I did get a little news about de race from de Associated Press, whose correspondent in Baton Rouge filed a story about Campbell about eight hours afta Trump was declared winner. In dis story, Foster sez dar are “obvious distinctions” between him an Kennedy. He sez he supports de minimum wage increase an de equal pay law — two tings he sez Kennedy opposes.
De AP says Foster also sez he ain’t “in anybody’s shirt pocket.” By sayin dat, he means Kennedy is de kind of politician dat folks in D.C. would call a “Beltway insider.”
Now me, I ain’t got a doubt in de world dat Kennedy is a political insider an haz been for years. I just ain’t sure dat Foster ain’t an insider politician too. An likewise, I ain’t at all sure dat it matters one way or de udder. Like my Mammaw Tateaux used to say, “It’s too deep for me!”
Dose Pesky Amendments
I guess de constitutional amendment vote dat will get de mos press is de vote for amendment two, which voters rejected. De amendment would have allowed college boards to raise de tuition for dar colleges without askin for state gubment approval.
We always knew de state Legislature was against Louisiana colleges raisin dar own tuition. Dis is de firs time we knew dat Louisiana voters were against it too.
It’s always been way beyond me. I never heard yet of an educator goin to de Legislature and tellin dem folks how to raise a tax. But each year, I hear about Baton Rouge politicians tellin educators what day gotta do about tuition.
Florida and Louisiana iz de only two states in de country dat let de Legislature control tuition. An Louisiana iz de only state dat requires a two-thirds vote for a tuition increase.
Education is like anyting else. Let de gubment get involved in it, an you got nuttin more dan a great big mess. Teachin’ college students who don’t really want to be in college is a pretty hard job to begin wit. Sometimes I feel like between cuttin budgets and jackin with tuition, our Legislature wants our teachers to teach wit one hand tied behind dar back. I tink dat’s a mixed metaphor. But you know what I mean.
De Local Scene
If you wuz wonderin about de local tax renewals on de ballot, you can stop wonderin cause day wuz all approved uf.
I guess our biggest local election dis time wuz de one for de seat in de U.S. House dat Charles Boustany left open when he tried to move over to de Senate. Dat race will be a run-off between Scott Angelle an Clay Higgins. I knew Angelle had good name recognition. Higgins I don’t know much about. But he must have somethin, cause he wuz just three points behind Angelle (26 percent versus 29). Dis run-off will be between two Republicans, which is what we’re used to.
One ting’s for shore — dis wuz de year uf runnin for office. We had no fewer dan 12 runnin for dis seat. I wuz surprised Brett Geymann didn’t get more dan 7 percent. I taught he even had some national name recognition. Better ask de political gurus about dat one. I imagine we’ll see him runnin for somethin else some day.
For some reason, dar wuz a whole lot uf talk about de race for de Associate Justice of de Supreme Court for de 3rd District, which is Calcasieu, Cameron an Jeff Davis. Dar wuz so many commercials and so much cash flyin around dat some uf de MCs must’ve had to sweep de money off the floor to get to de microphone. Anyway, it shore wuz close in de end, wit Jimmy Genovese beatin Marilyn Castle by just 2 points: 51 to 49 percent. An dat, az day say, iz dat.
If It’s Dar, It’s Hard To Find
I don’t tink we’re gonna have any kind of recession in SWLA dis year. But de res uf de state iz doin a whole lot worse dan we are. In fact, de state economist, Greg Albrecht, just tole de state’s Revenue Estimatin Conference dat Louisiana is in a recession.
Albrecht sed dat 30 percent of de Louisianans in de state’s oil an gas industry had lost jobs since 2014. But he sed all dat time, de oil an gas bidnesses kept de same tax breaks day’ve had for years.
Sure looks like Albrecht would like to find some common ground between de money lost by Louisiana’s unemployed an de money kept by de oil and gas bidness. Dat common ground may be dar. But me, I gotta feelin de Legislature is gonna have a mighty hard time findin it. An de oil an gas lobbyists ain’t gonna be lookin for it at all.
Remember, Christmas Can Come Early
I know some people don’t like to tink about Christmas dis early in de year. But if you don’t know it already, you should be aware dat most uf de towns and cities in dis area have dar official Christmas ceremonies in de firs weekend uf December.
Uf course dar is celebrations udder dan de official ones, and dese probably go right on up to Christmas day. But if you want to go to de official ceremonies, you have to tink about Christmas at least a little early.
My, How Tings Have Changed
Have you seen de new Rikenjaks? You don’t have to go inside to see it. Dar are lots uf tables outside and dar all packed. Dar are big signs advertisin de stuff bein sold dar.
Den dar are de parked cars. Day go on for blocks an blocks. If you drive down Ryan Street, you’ve seen dis.
Well, nobody can fault a new restaurant for being successful.
Remember how different de old Rikenjaks wuz? When you walked in, it was big, an cool an quiet wit a real relaxin atmosphere. De ole architecture an de dim lightin made you feel like you were takin a trip way back into de past. You could sit in a booth and have a long talk wit somebody and most likely not have anybody sittin’ real near you.
I shore did like dat Hammerhead beer dat Rikenjaks made. But I believe I’m gonna let de crowd die down some before I go get a Hammerhead dis time around.
Deep Taughts While Cookin Cornbread Dressin
10. Iz it ever gonna get cold enough to keep me from wearin my cargo pants?
9. If de Cowboys give up lots uf points, shouldn’t it be called a defensive blow-out?
8. Iz playin five uf de first seven games at home next year gonna help LSU?
7. Now dat Trump is president, is we gonna have a sister city in Russia?
6. Am I too old to go fight ISIS?
5. Iz Willie Robertson gonna be in de Cabinet?
4. Iz Jeff Landry?
3. How come T-Claude buys egg nog in de family size when he lives alone?
2. Can I get away wit givin Rita Marie a Calgon bath gift set one more Christmas?
1. Who took de extra hour I wuz supposed to get when de time changed?
I don’t tink Lefty understood de election. He sed instead of buildin a wall to keep Mexicans out of America, we’re gonna have to build a wall to keep Americans out of Canada. Dat Lefty! He sure haz a strange sense of geography!
‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.