Taiwanese scientists recently announced the availability of their Infant Cries Translator (iPhone and Android app), which, they say, can tell what a baby’s screeches and wailings mean 77 percent of the time. To make the app, the National Taiwan University Hospital Yunlin doctors created a database of 200,000 crying sounds.
The Spitting Image
Toshihiko Mizuno, 55, was arrested in Tokyo in June, 2011, after three 9-year-old girls reported that he had talked them into spitting for him so that he could record their actions on video. He said they could help him with “research” he was doing on “saliva.” Police later discovered 26 videotapes featuring 400 young girls spitting. According to local media, Mizuno had had the obsession for 17 years. Of the 4,000 girls he had asked to spit, 500 agreed.
The Not-So-Funny Bone
William Bendorf, 38, filed a lawsuit against the Funny Bone comedy club in Omaha, Neb., and hypnotist Doug Thompson after Benhof plunged off the stage and broke his leg after Thompson hypnotized him. Thompson claimed that he had “snapped” Bendorf out of the trance. But the lawsuit claims that Bendorf fell off the stage as he walked directly toward his stage-side table because he was still “under” Thompson’s spell.
Waves Of Terrorism In Nebraska Averted
The Sept. 11, 2001, attacks led to massive “homeland security” spending in which Congress was spooked by “what if” scenarios and motivated to disburse budget-busting funding among all 50 states. Among the questionable projects described in an August, 2011, Los Angeles Times review were the purchase of an inflatable Zodiac boat with wide-scan sonar to protect against terrorists eyeing Lake McConaughy in Keith County, Neb.; cattle nose leads, halters and electric prods in case of biological attacks on cows in Cherry County, Neb.; and $557,400 in communications and rescue gear for the time when North Pole, Alaska (pop. 2,100), gets hit by terrorism.
Adventures In 3-D
Surgeons treating 4-month-old Teegan Lexcen (who was born with only one lung and a critically deformed heart) gave up on her. But doctors at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital jury-rigged a surgical tool that saved the infant’s life. In a delicate seven-hour procedure, surgeons used an iPhone app and $20 Google Cardboard box virtual-reality viewers to guide themselves through Teegan’s chest. The app converted two-dimensional body scans to 3-D. Typical 3-D images, the surgeons said, were too grainy for the precision surgery.
Suspicions Confirmed
— Crescent City, Calif., drug dealer James Banuelos pleaded guilty in exchange for a reduced sentence (three years in prison). Because of the plea bargain, police didn’t have to show an embarrassing hidden-camera video of the raid that showed arresting officers stealing the dealer’s money and valuables. Officers were shown laughing and helping themselves to the loot. A gold chain belonging to Banuelos wound up for sale a few days later on Craigslist. As part of the plea agreement, the prosecutor agreed to give all Banuelos’ stuff back to him.
— The United Nations announced at year’s end that the book most often checked out last year at its Dag Hammarskjold Library in New York was the nearly 500 page-long Immunity of Heads of State and State Officials for International Crimes. The list of borrowers was not revealed. In general, the book concludes, current heads of state have immunity, but past ones don’t.
New Fashionistas
In January, the upscale Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana introduced stylish hijabs and abayas aimed at Muslim women. D&G’s marketing effort accessorized models’ headscarves and cloaks with stilettos and oversized, gaudy sunglasses. It was clear from the suggested retail prices that D&G would be pitching the line mainly in wealthy Persian Gulf countries such as United Arab Emirates.
Unclear On The Concept
— The government watchdog MuckRock requested records on the cause of death of a dolphin in New Jersey’s South River last year. But the state’s Dept. of Agriculture initially declined to release them, citing “medical privacy.”
— Maria Vaccarella is facing a $500 fine in Howell, N.J., because she “rendered care” to two orphaned baby squirrels when their mother abandoned them — an act that authorities say is illegal under New Jersey state law. She was due in court as News of the Weird went to press.
Think Your Commute Is Bad?
— The main road linking the port city of Mombasa, Kenya, to Nairobi and beyond to landlocked Uganda was blocked in mid-November by damage from heavy rains. This led to a 30-mile-long line of stopped vehicles that left more than 1,500 trucks stranded.
— In October, at the end of China’s traditional, annual week-long getaway, new traffic checkpoints for the notorious G4 Beijing-Hong Kong-Macau Expressway reduced the road’s previous 50 lanes (yes, that’s 50) to 20. Videos from a TV network’s drone showed a breathtaking traffic jam that quickly inspired delight or compassion all over the Internet.
Least Competent Criminals
— Jason Hayes, 17, was arrested in a Philadelphia suburb when he arrived for an appointment with a victim he had robbed the night before. According to police, Hayes had attempted to shake down a woman in her home, but was dissatisfied with the money she had on hand. Fearful, she agreed to bring more the next day if they met at a local shopping mall. He agreed to this, promising to wear the same clothes so she would recognize him. She, of course, called police.
Readers’ Choice
— In December, a judge in Hamburg, N.Y., dismissed the DUI charge against a motorist who had registered a 0.33 blood-alcohol reading because her lawyer had convinced the court that she suffered from “gut fermentation syndrome” — that her digestive system makes so much yeast from ordinary food and beverages that it functions like a “brewery.”
— In January, Donald “Chip” Pugh, 45, who was wanted by police in Lima, Ohio, and Columbus, Ga., texted Lima cops a photo of himself to use as a mug shot because he was dissatisfied with the one on the department’s website. “That one is terrible,” he wrote. Nevertheless, it was clear enough for authorities in Escambia County, Fla., who arrested Pugh a few days later.
Frontiers Of Fashion
In Texas, pistol-packing women concerned with fashion are not limited to traditional firearms in ordinary cowboy holsters. An online company, The Well-Armed Woman, offers such options as stylish leggings, lace waistbands and an array of underarm and bra holsters, including an in-cup model, the Marilyn, in leopard-print and pastel colors. A woman’s body shape and size can be important shopping considerations, according to the company’s founder. “A 32A bust could not conceal a Glock 19 very well, nor would a 42DD or larger front allow for effective cross-draw carry.”
Democracy Blues
In January, Robert Battle took the oath of office for his second term as a city councilman in East Chicago, Ind. He took the oath at the county lockup, where he was being held without bail, charged with a murder committed during a drug deal. The crime made news the month before election day. Yet Battle still won his race. According to law, he cannot be forced out of office unless he is convicted or admits the crime.
Marijuana And Religion
— The Albany, N.Y., company Vireo Health told reporters it would soon offer the world’s first certified Kosher marijuana, announcing that the Orthodox Union of New York had authenticated it as having met Jewish dietary laws. Some Kosher-validating officials complained that the approval should apply only to marijuana that is eaten, not smoked.
— Two habit-wearing nuns were scheduled to ask the Merced, Calif., City Council to decline its prerogative under state law to ban the dispensing or cultivating of medical marijuana. The nuns’ order makes and sells salves and tonics for pain management, using a strain of cannabis that contains only a trace of psychoactive material.
Compelling Explanations
— Italy’s highest court freed a man because the bribe he offered a cop to avoid a DUI ticket was “too small” to be taken seriously. The driver had offered 100 euros ($108 at the time).
— Lawyers for John Bills (a former Chicago city commissioner on trial for taking bribes for a traffic-camera contract) said Bills was obviously innocent because everyone knows that, in Chicago, the only bribes that will get things done are bribes of the mayor, or at least an alderman.
— A security guard in Nairobi, Kenya, told a New York Times reporter about corruption so rampant that ballpoint pens were being sold to the government for $85 each. “If people are going to steal, please, just steal a little,” pleaded the guard.
Bright Ideas
— The Institut Marques of Barcelona, Spain, recently demonstrated a tampon-like speaker that carries soothing 54-decibel “hushed tone” rhythms that are supposed to improve fetal growth. In the Babypod’s first “concert,” the singer Soraya performed Christmas carols. Documented evidence of the value of such a device was said to be limited.
Chutzpah!
— Michael Leonard, 53, was charged with stealing a package that moments earlier had been dropped off by a courier. The delivery had been made to a Prince George’s County, Md., police station. Leonard, who was hanging around in the station registering as a sex offender, walked out with the package when no one was looking. However, a station surveillance camera caught his face.
— Police chiefs of six small Ohio towns recently demanded an investigation of Sandusky County Sheriff Kyle Overmyer. Overmyer had approached each chief stating that he would be glad to help out by “collecting” their departments’ confiscated drugs for “disposal.” He said he was doing this on behalf of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency. It turns out the DEA knew nothing of it. The Ohio attorney general is investigating.
Recurring Themes
Kopi Luwak, the gourmet coffee beans that are roasted only after they have been flavored by a trip through the digestive tracts of Asian civet cats, have been a staple of weird news stories for a quarter century. A New York start-up, Afineur, will soon bring to market a synthetic process mimicking the flavoring effects of the civets’ gut bacteria.
— From time to time, when people worry excessively about their situations in life, entrepreneurs create “destruction rooms,” where, for a fee, customers get some time with a sledgehammer or baseball bat and pound on junked furniture. The most recent, Tantrums of Houston, opened in January, charging $35 for 10 minutes.
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