Every year, the Up Fronter lets loyal readers know when they can start contributing their books and DVDs to the year’s big used book sale. Well, that time is now. Good Shepherd Episcopal Church is collecting new and used books that are in good condition, and will do so until March 1.
The annual ginormous book sale will be held March 18-20 in the Good Shepherd gym. (I know some people really hate the word “ginormous.” I’m just trying to create the impression that the book sale is really, really big. I mean, it fills up a gym.)
Books, DVDs, and audio books are welcome; no encyclopedias or textbooks, please. Donations can be placed in drop-off boxes in the covered drive-through at the side entrance of Good Shepherd, 715 Kirkman St., Lake Charles.
Last year, $15,000 in proceeds from the sale were donated to local charities.
When the sale rolls around, don’t forget that Sunday is always the bag sale day. On that day, you can buy all the books you can fit into a bag for a flat $5.
Second Line For Bowie
How do you create a fitting memorial for the loss of the greatest songwriter of your era? Some folks in New Orleans made a bold effort when they put together a second line for the late David Bowie in the N.O. Mardi Gras on Jan. 14. The parade, titled “Pretty Things,” took off from the Preservation Hall in the French Quarter. The Preservation Hall Jazz Band was one of the two big N.O. acts heading up the parade, the other being Arcade Fire.
Participants, viewers and listeners were invited to “DRESS IN YOUR BEST BOWIE OUTFIT OR SOMETHING MORE STRANGE.”
Bowie was an old friend of Arcade Fire, a Canadian ensemble that features an accordion player and sometimes performs songs in French. In 2005, Bowie took the stage with the band to perform Arcade Fire’s anthem “Wake Up” in Carnegie Hall.
It was one of his last live appearances. In the same year, he suffered a heart attack on stage in Hamburg during a show. For the last decade of his life, he didn’t perform in public. But he did, on occasion, perform with Arcade Fire in the studio. Bowie provided back-up vocals on the band’s “Reflektor” song in 2013.
iTunes offers an EP of Bowie and Arcade Fire collaborating on “Wake Up” and several Bowie favorites.
‘Trainwreck’ Star Thanks La. Victims
Comedy fans will know who Amy Schumer is. She wrote the screenplay for, and starred in, Trainwreck, which I’m guessing a majority of comedy freaks would pick as the funniest movie of 2015.
In her acceptance speech for a Critics’ Choice Award on Jan. 17, Schumer thanked Mayci Breaux and Jillian Johnson — two people who were killed in the mass shooting in the Grand Theatre in Lafayette last July.
Schumer probably singled out Breaux and Johnson because they were watching Trainwreck when they were killed. After the shooting, the New York Daily News ran a lengthy story on Mayci Breaux (“Mayci Breaux, victim in Louisiana theater shooting …” by Melissa Chan). Breaux was waiting to graduate from U.L.-Eunice before she married her high school sweetheart, Matthew Rodriguez. Rodriguez was shot in the attack, but survived.
As for Johnson, she ran the boutique Red Arrow Workshop, which had locations in Lafayette and New Orleans. She had previously worked as the manager for Cajun swing ensemble The Red Stick Ramblers.
The shooter, John Russell Houser, who had bi-polar disorder, had a long “history of mental illness issues,” according to court documents. NOLA reported that his relatives did not allow him to enter their houses. His wife asked for a temporary protective order against him, arguing that he had “exhibited extreme erratic behavior and … made ominous as well as disturbing statements.” She had removed all firearms from the family home. Her divorce action against Houser didn’t take affect before the shooting.
Houser, NOLA reported, “Tweeted support for the Westboro Baptist Church” — the fringe group that pickets the funerals of veterans while carrying signs that read “GOD HATES FAGS!”
Police said Houser had no connection to Lafayette. After the shooting, they tried to arrest Houser at the theater. But when he sensed arrest was imminent, he shot himself, inflicting a fatal wound.
In the last year, Schumer has become a power player in Hollywood. As was noted earlier, she wrote the script for Trainwreck, which was the first comedy ever directed by Judd Apatow for which he did not write the script.
At the awards ceremony, Apatow noted that Trainwreck was Schumer’s first movie and that she had won Peabody and Emmy Awards in 2015. He called her “hysterical and bold and courageous, and the perfect comedian for this moment.”
One Option For La.’s Poor
Up Front readers who aren’t poor have no doubt wondered how poor people get by in a state as poor as Louisiana. On the days when I consider myself a poor person, I wonder how I get by. On days when I think I’m on some economic level slightly higher than that of the poor, I wonder how they do it.
On Jan. 19, the Times-Picayune told us how one poor Louisianan managed to stay off the street. Matthew Helms, 23, somehow acquired 220,000 Xanax pills. Yes, you read that number right. That was 220,000 pills in a single house. That number of Xanax pills translates into $l.1 million dollars in the currency exchange rates presently used on Louisiana streets.
Helms, who apparently paid for his pills by bitcoin, was actually selling some of the illegal Xanax through the U.S. Mail — always a savvy business move.
I bet some of you are already guessing that Helms has been deprived of his great good fortune because the po-po figured out what he was doing.
Saint John the Baptist Parish Sheriff Mike Tregre said the Xanax pills were not made by Xanax manufacturer Pfizer. Tregre said the pills were “manufactured in a clandestine lab. This is someone producing this in a basement or garage.”
That was news to me. I had no idea Xanax — or imitation Xanax — could be made by individuals Walter White-style. I guess if you follow the news you learn stuff.
Helms may now be poor again. As of press time, he was cooling his jets in jail because he couldn’t make a $300,000 bail. He may, at least, be accustomed to jail, as he’s been arrested six times since 2012.
Police arrested 11 of Helms’ workers. Check out what these geniuses did. As none of them were aware that Helms had been busted, they all went on taking orders for Xanax just as if it were no thing. If you’re a D.A., you’ve got to love that. I’m thinking these 11 might want to take some classes while they’re incarcerated.
Best-Written Headline Of The Issue
“Ruston man accused of possession of stolen things.”
— The Monroe News-Star, Jan. 12
Let me guess: a box of tooth pics, a piece of string, a package of Bubble Yum and a Moon Pie.
The Case For Not Taking Headlines Seriously
“The Case for Why You Should Take ‘The Bachelor’ Seriously”
— OZY The Daily Dose Jan 13
Numbers Starting To Matter Now
For months The Up Fronter has been saying people should pay no attention to presidential polling numbers because it’s way too early for that. But by the time you get this magazine, the Iowa Caucus will have been held; and the New Hampshire primary will take place five days after the mag hits the stands. It is now time to pay attention to poll numbers (that is, if you follow politics — or the news, which is the same thing).
Now, you may know that a couple of polls have indicated that Sanders could beat Clinton in Iowa and New Hampshire. These polls are driving Democrats nuts. Paul Krugman even went so far as to write an anti-Sanders editorial in the New York Times. If you know who Paul Krugman is, you’re bound to roll your eyes at that one.
Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill made a really good funny about it: “The Republicans won’t touch [Sanders] because they can’t wait to run an ad with a hammer and sickle.” (Good luck on teaching Americans under 40 what the hammer and sickle signify.)
The most shameless of these moves was made by David Brock, who said Sanders has “a lot of whack-doodle ideas.” Since Brock is a journalist who heads Media Matters, which is supposed to monitor conservative media that attacks liberals, his comments (in my opinion) raise really serious questions of journalistic ethics. It’s hypocritical to blame conservatives for attacking liberals when you attack one yourself.
Anyhoo, if Sanders should get the Democratic nomination, the Republican candidate will win the presidency, I don’t care who he is.
The News
“Lake Charles Divas of Dance ‘Bring It’”
— KPLC headline, Jan. 17
The Funnies
In 2007, David Bowie appeared as himself in an episode of the Ricky Gervais HBO comedy Extras. In the show, Bowie encounters the Gervais character — the hapless star of a mediocre BBC sitcom — in a bar. Almost immediately, Bowie sits down at the bar’s piano and starts composing a song ridiculing the Gervais character. Here’s a taste:
David Bowie [singing]:
He’s got no style. He’s got no grace.
He’s banal and facile. He’s a fat waste of space.
[Speaking to the bar crowd]: Yeah, yeah! Everybody sing that last line. 1, 2, 3!
[Bowie and the crowd singing]: He’s banal and facile. He’s a fat waste of space.
[Bowie continuing solo]: See his pug nose face!
Pug! Pug!
[To the crowd]: Again!
— Extras, “David Bowie” (season 2, episode 2), 2007. On the internet, Bowie’s satirical song is usually referred to as having the title “Little Fat Man.”
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