Divorce Rate

Dear Dr. Archer,

My friends and I are in our 60s, and we constantly argue about why the divorce rate is higher today. What is your opinion? 

Libby 

Dear Libby,

Yes, the times, they are a changing. The divorce rate is indeed higher today than it was in the past. This can be attributed to four factors.

First, we live longer. Fifty years ago, those in their 50s and 60s were typically not healthy enough to think about looking for another mate.

The second reason is the financial independence of women. Up until the last 20 years, many women were totally dependent upon their husbands for financial security. To leave would have been a financial impossibility. As more and more women enter the workforce, this is no longer an issue.

Next, with globalization, travel and the Internet, the odds are increasingly greater that a couple will grow apart as their life experiences head in different directions. Years ago, a couple very likely could be born, raised and married all in the same town, with no outside influence.

However, the final, and probably most important, reason for the increased rate is that divorce is now considered socially acceptable. Not so long ago, divorce was considered a dirty word, and individuals who had been through one were considered weak and inferior.

Dear Dr. Archer, 

My boyfriend’s mother had a nervous breakdown when he was growing up, and the subject is difficult for him to talk about. He has told me that he thinks nervous breakdowns are hereditary, and that he is worried about the possibility of this happening to him. Is it hereditary? 

Kelsey

Dear Kelsey,

There is no psychiatric definition for “nervous breakdown,” and it has nothing to do with nerves. While the term is not medical, it is often used in the general population to characterize the experience of “snapping” under immense pressure, mental collapse, or mental and physical exhaustion.

Your boyfriend’s mother probably had an episode of what is correctly termed Major Depression. I’m sure it was very upsetting for him, as a young boy, to see his mother go through this experience, and I’m sure it was distressing for her, of course. If he still has difficulty talking about that time, and it is something he worries about excessively, it may be worth visiting a counselor to help deal with these memories.

Regarding his concerns about the condition being hereditary: Genetic links are definitely present for most mental disorders, and you both need to be aware of this. But this does not mean it is your boyfriend’s destiny to develop the same condition as his mother. So, rather than worry about a mental health problem that may never develop, it is far more important to lead a mentally healthy life by getting enough sleep, not abusing drugs or alcohol, developing healthy relationships and avoiding unnecessary stress.

The other thing to remember is that mental disorders today are very treatable with medication. So, if your boyfriend does develop any specific symptoms, then he would need to see a psychiatrist immediately.

Dear Dr. Archer,

For five months, I have had two foster children, ages 5 and 7, living with me. Their mother is a cocaine addict. Both children seem to have high levels of frustration, and sometimes express explosive anger. Is this because of their mother’s addiction?

Caroline 

Dear Caroline,

Genetics play a huge role in terms of our mental health. The fact that the children’s mother is a cocaine addict indicates that they are at higher risk for a psychiatric condition. In addition, the instability associated with growing up in what must have been a horrible environment may indeed lead to issues of impulse control and easy frustration.

The best thing you can do at this point is to provide a stable, loving and caring environment for these children. Also, I would definitely have both children evaluated by a child psychiatrist. I suspect medication may be needed. Good luck.

Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana.  He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs, and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book Better than Normal.  Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.