We’re living in a time when we don’t have to watch disaster movies to see suspenseful stories about fast-spreading scary diseases. My story on such diseases (“The Scaries,” Lagniappe, Oct. 2, p. 36), demonstrated the challenges journalists face in keeping up with these fast-paced stories.
I followed the news on these illnesses — especially Enterovirus D68, Ebola and Dengue — through Friday, Sept. 26, when deadlines for the magazine forced me to attend to other things.
While I reported that D68 was already in 38 states, I wouldn’t be able to report that the day we went to press — Tuesday, Sept. 30 — Massachusetts became the 40th state to declare that it had Enterovirus D68. Nor could I report the upshot — that it seems extremely likely now that D68 will spread to all 48 contiguous states.
Nor could I have reported that by the time our magazine was on the stands, a Dallas hospital patient would have been diagnosed as having Ebola. Or that after the magazine appeared, a Spanish nurse would contract it.
As you already know if you’re a newshound, the spread of illnesses such as D68, Ebola and Dengue is occurring so quickly and dramatically that even daily media are challenged to report the stories. The day I write this, Oct. 6, the Calcasieu Parish Office Of Homeland Security And Emergency Preparedness is distributing a list of links for various local organizations that may wish to inform residents about Ebola (including a link for Americans who are working at drilling operations off the shore of West Africa).
About Town
It’s that time again. Every year book lovers get a chance to contribute their books, DVDs and audio books to Good Shepherd Episcopal Church for the Lake Area mother of all book sales, which takes place every spring.
Make your drop-offs at the side entrance of Good Shepherd at 715 Kirkman St. The church requests that contributions be in good condition and that no encyclopedias or textbooks be contributed.
Good Shepherd says contributions of books to date have been “greatly appreciated.” Last year, $12,000 was donated to local charities as a result of the sale.
This is the sale’s seventh year at Good Shepherd. Before that it was held at the Temple Sinai.
Election Update 5,099
I hate it that we didn’t make it up to Election Update 5,100 this round of elections. But, you know, politics can disappoint you sometimes.
I don’t know about the balance of the U.S. Senate. But I think we done won the yard sign race, y’all. I’ve got at least 15 of the things stuck in the carpet around my desk. I don’t know who any of the people on any of the signs are. But I think I’ll be able to recognize them if I ever run into them in public.
Every time I go to the Clerk of Court’s web site and look at the list of those “qualifying” for local elections, I’m amazed by the number. I didn’t know there were this many politicians in the Duma. In fact, there aren’t. Just look at this handy chart:
Number of politicians in the Duma: 450
Number of people running for office in Calcasieu Parish: 451.
I notice three of the people in the Calcasieu Parish qualifying list showed up for their official photo wearing a gimme cap. So if you’re looking for a candidate who knows how to work a fashion-conscious motif, you can find that here.
I thought for a while that I might get really worked up about the election for councilman at large in DeQuincy. But unfortunately, I’ve been plagued by an irrational fear that if Charlie Crist wins as governor of Florida, I’m going to wind up confusing the names of Charlie Crist and Chris Christie. We’ll all suffer if that happens.
As always, stay tuned to this column for the latest and most detailed local election news in the area.
‘Pulling Out Pages On Evolution’
I could write about the balance of the U.S. Senate and all that. But why not write about something else? Something really pertinent? Like what Gov. Bobby Jindal’s been doing. That’s a lot more interesting, isn’t it? Sure it is.
For whatever reason, satirical MC Stephen Colbert took aim at Gov. Bobby Jindal on TV the other day. Talking Points Memo reported these two passages from Colbert’s skit:
“Jindal believes evolution should be established science only on a local basis. Take the Galapagos Islands: on one of them, the finches evolved longer beaks to punch holes in cactus fruit. On another island, the beaks were shorter because Jesus [sic].
“I applaud Bobby Jindal for so deftly floating [his] presidential trial balloon. But please don’t call it that, sir, because the science isn’t in on ballooning yet. I mean, if hot air rises, how come hell is below us?”
What interested TPM was not Colbert’s patter, but the long string of Tweets Jindal made in response to it. Here’s the list:
— “Missed ur show last night, was too busy pulling out pages on evolution in my kids’ biology textbooks” (10:28 am)
— “If evolution is true, then why is your humor so far behind The Daily Show?” (10:28 am)
— “You’re no Jon Stewart, but you are funny, Mr. Colbert.” (10:29 am)
— “My kids tell me they’re learning about Charles Darwin in school … Common Core math is getting weird.” (10:37 am)
What’s interesting to me is Jindal’s motivation for writing the Tweets. If he was just trying to show Colbert that he, too, could be funny, I think he succeeded. His material is pretty funny. Not only that, but he managed to be funny about the issues he’ll have to run on if he continues to go for the far right vote. No mean accomplishment.
But it also occurred to me that Jindal might be trying to wangle an invitation to Colbert’s show. If that’s what was going on, that’s good politics. Even though Colbert’s a tough interviewer, Jindal would certainly get a lot of name recognition by appearing in one of the most-seen interview slots on TV.
But if Jindal was letting Colbert get under his skin, he needs to work on his game. Politicians can’t afford to waste time or energy on this or that comment made by this or that talk show host. They need to stay focused on the important stuff: like where they can go to be photographed eating hotdogs with ordinary people who aren’t too mad about stuff.
Don’t Like Comedy Or Music? You’re Safe!
Suddenlink began October by informing its customers that it would no longer be broadcasting MTV, Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, VH1, TVLand, Spike, BET and CMT.
So … if you’re not interested in comedy or rock music or country music or hip hop music or old TV shows or “Sanjay and Craig” or action flicks or old TV reruns … if you don’t want to watch any of that stuff … these changes should be just fine with you.
For several months this year, Nickelodeon has been the top-rated cable network. It was still No. 1 the week before Suddenlink made its announcement. But No. 2 is good enough for us, huh?
If you want to keep your Suddenlink in spite of the loss of two or three or four of your favorite networks, you can take some consolation in the fact that Suddenlink is replacing the likes of MTV and TVLand with some real heavy hitters. Like what, you say? Well, how about the Uplifting Entertainment network?
That’s right! I don’t know how many times I’ve asked some guy, “Are you on Suddenlink?” only to have him answer, “You know, I would be, but they don’t carry Uplifting Entertainment. At least half of what I watch is on Uplifting Entertainment. It just wouldn’t make sense for me to subscribe to a carrier that doesn’t provide it.”
In a KPLC-TV story I read about all this, Suddenlink was blaming Viacom and Viacom was blaming Suddenlink and Suddenlink was blaming Viacom and so forth. I’ll tell you straight up — if some person just wants to watch his Daily Show or Spongebob or 106th and Park, he’s not going to spend second one thinking about whether Viacom is more culpable than Suddenlink.
As for me, I’m devoting myself entirely to a marathon viewing of Uplifting Entertainment’s show Raising Izzy, whose latest tagline reads “Is it God’s will that Greg and Tonya have been unable to conceive?” I don’t mind admitting that I’m so desperate to get an answer to that question that it’s all I can do to keep my mind on my typing.
The Sign You Won’t See
What seemed to have gotten Jindal’s attention was Colbert’s comments on evolution. I’m surprised he wasn’t more bothered by Colbert’s jokes about a CNN poll of New Hampshire voters that put Jindal at 3 percent — lower than the percentage accorded to “No one.”
Colbert said, “I say [Jindal] can use it to his advantage. ‘Jindal 2016: No one is more popular.’” Colbert even had his people make up a sign to show how the slogan would be used.
The State Of Things
It’s all about J Lo’s booty on E! news tonight.
— Oct. 1 Tweet
Joke
Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It’s making headlines.
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