{"id":7479,"date":"2018-04-05T12:00:22","date_gmt":"2018-04-05T17:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/?p=7479"},"modified":"2018-04-05T11:49:03","modified_gmt":"2018-04-05T16:49:03","slug":"guardian-angels-laugh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/","title":{"rendered":"Do Guardian Angels Laugh?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bless Me Father<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

The priest asks, \u201cIs that you, little Joey Pagano?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, Father, it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd who was the girl you were with?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t tell you, Father, I don\u2019t want to ruin her reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Joey, I\u2019m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe least I can do is not drag her name through the mud.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it Teresa Mazzarelli?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were both too young, but I\u2019m plenty old enough to keep a secret.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it Nina Capelli?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry Father, but I could not betray her trust.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it Cathy Piriano?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy lips are sealed Father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, Father, I cannot tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The priest sighs in frustration.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re very tight lipped, little Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you\u2019ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for four months. Now you go and behave yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, \u201cWhat\u2019d you get?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Four month\u2019s vacation and five excellent leads.\u201d<\/p>\n

Protestants Are Fair Game Too<\/strong><\/p>\n

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb?\u00a0 Ten.\u00a0 One to change it and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.<\/p>\n

How many fundamentalists does it take to change a lightbulb?\u00a0 There is No Mention of light bulbs in the Bible!<\/p>\n

How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?\u00a0 At least 15.\u00a0 One for the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.<\/p>\n

Methodists: undetermined. \u00a0 Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out you are loved.\u00a0 You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb.\u00a0 Churchwide lighting service planned for next Sunday.\u00a0 Bring bulb of your choice and covered dish.<\/p>\n

Episcopalians: eight.\u00a0 One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.<\/p>\n

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?\u00a0 One\u2026but for the message of hope to continue to go forth, please send in your donation today.<\/p>\n

Amish: \u201cwhat\u2019s a light bulb?\u201d<\/p>\n

_ \u00a0 _\u00a0 _\u00a0 _\u00a0 _\u00a0 _\u00a0 _\u00a0 _ \u00a0 _ \u00a0 _<\/p>\n

This edition of Uncle P\u2019s Bedtime Stories is brought to you by Eighty-one, where we figure that eternity is just too long to go without humor in heaven.<\/i><\/p>\n

Anyone wishing to put Uncle P in their will may inform him of his windfall at\u00a0 81creativity@gmail.com.\u00a0 Other Bedtime Stories may be found on the Eighty-one Facebook page.<\/i><\/p>\n

Bonus: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?\u00a0 Five.\u00a0 One man\u2026and four wives to stand around and tell him how to do it\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bless Me Father \u201c\u2018Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.\u201d The priest asks, \u201cIs that you, little Joey Pagano?\u201d \u201cYes, Father, it is.\u201d \u201cAnd who was the girl you were with?\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t tell you, Father, I don\u2019t want to ruin her reputation.\u201d \u201cWell, Joey, I\u2019m sure to [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":279,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[59,894],"yoast_head":"\nDo Guardian Angels Laugh? - BestOfSwla<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do Guardian Angels Laugh? - BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Bless Me Father \u201c\u2018Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.\u201d The priest asks, \u201cIs that you, little Joey Pagano?\u201d \u201cYes, Father, it is.\u201d \u201cAnd who was the girl you were with?\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t tell you, Father, I don\u2019t want to ruin her reputation.\u201d \u201cWell, Joey, I\u2019m sure to [&hellip\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bestofswla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-04-05T17:00:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-04-05T16:49:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/uncle-p-inet.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"610\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"250\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Pierre Fontenot\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Pierre Fontenot\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/\",\"name\":\"Do Guardian Angels Laugh? - BestOfSwla\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-04-05T17:00:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-04-05T16:49:03+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/#\/schema\/person\/04b92ddcfd1ce4b7b8e1be34acd996ea\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Do Guardian Angels Laugh?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/\",\"name\":\"BestOfSwla\",\"description\":\"Powered by Lagniappe Magazine\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/#\/schema\/person\/04b92ddcfd1ce4b7b8e1be34acd996ea\",\"name\":\"Pierre Fontenot\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5c6d050cd0d3ec11e3a784f158ba5e89?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5c6d050cd0d3ec11e3a784f158ba5e89?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Pierre Fontenot\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/author\/pfontenot\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Do Guardian Angels Laugh? - BestOfSwla","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2018\/04\/05\/guardian-angels-laugh\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Do Guardian Angels Laugh? - BestOfSwla","og_description":"Bless Me Father \u201c\u2018Bless me Father, for I have sinned. 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