A loyal reader who called me on Dec. 15 encouraged me to complete a task on the day she called, because, she said, \u201cafter today I\u2019ll be out until \u2018til the first.\u201d<\/p>\n
My first question for her, of course, was \u201cWhy are you still at work?\u201d<\/p>\n
I hope I don\u2019t need to tell anyone that this year\u2019s unofficial Southwest Louisiana Christmas season holiday began on Dec. 15 and will run through Jan. 10. If you think you may have trouble remembering these dates, keep in mind that it\u2019s much, much better to take off work a day or two early or come back a day or two late than it is to run the risk of working during the Dec. 15-Jan. 10 period.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s always some confusion about the selection of the dates of the unofficial SWLA holiday. They\u2019re easy to remember if you keep in mind a few simple principles.<\/p>\n
No self-respecting Southwest Louisianan is ever going to work on a Friday to begin with. Given that, the day before the Friday before the Friday before Christmas \u2014 that is, the second Thursday before Christmas \u2014 is a good, sensible day to start the no-work period. Thus, Wednesday, Dec. 14, became the day for wrapping things up, having parties and what not and \u201cleaving early,\u201d which is Southwest Louisiana slang for \u201cleaving exactly when I feel like leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n
Similar principles apply to the date for returning to work \u2014 at least tentatively. Of course no sane person should contemplate returning to work on the Monday after the Monday after New Year\u2019s. That would be making the mistake of depriving oneself of a perfectly legitimate four-day weekend. Thus, Tuesday Jan. 10\u00a0 is the logical day for returning to work. Come in bright and early and sparkly and shiny or get off to an easy, gradual start at 10 or 11 \u2014 even 11:30. It\u2019s your choice. You\u2019re the worker.<\/p>\n
Most Southwest Louisianans know the principles I\u2019ve just explained as well as they know their names. But if you\u2019re new to the area, you might as well learn the principles now, since you\u2019ll be using them all again when Mardi Gras approaches.<\/p>\n
If you work with your hands, you may have a certain number of people who will tell you you should work at some point during the unofficial holiday period because they are having plumbing or electrical \u201cemergencies.\u201d It is perfectly acceptable to tell these people that there is no greater emergency than working when one has the opportunity not to work.<\/p>\n
If anybody makes the foolish mistake of trying to guilt you about not working more, just throw back your shoulders and tell the rude beast that \u201cdriving and shopping are plenty hard work\u201d and that driving too fast is even harder work.<\/p>\n
Louisiana Education Marches Forward<\/strong><\/p>\n As 2016 drew to a close, LSU president F. King Alexander said the university had lost 500 professors in the last decade. (Of course, most of the last decade was the time of Bobby Jindal\u2019s meat-ax cuts of higher ed budgets.)<\/p>\n It\u2019s little surprise that the University of Alabama tried to give Louisiana a run on this. But Alabama\u2019s effort was pathetic compared to ours. In the last decade, the University of Alabama only lost 300 professors \u2014 a mere 60 percent of what LSU lost.<\/p>\n How is LSU going to deal with these staggering losses? Can\u2019t it just become more efficient? Again?<\/p>\n Alexander may have been anticipating such comments when he said, \u201cAnother cut to higher ed furthers the dire straits we\u2019re in. I don\u2019t know how much more efficient we can become.\u201d<\/p>\n Dream On, Robinson<\/strong><\/p>\n You may have heard that, starting on Jan. 1, Amazon began applying Louisiana\u2019s state and local sales taxes to items bought on Amazon by customers in Louisiana.<\/p>\n You can start reminiscing right now about those good old days of Amazon Prime when you could buy all sorts of books that will never be in Walmart; buy them at Walmart prices; and be confident that the books would be in your hands in two days.<\/p>\n As you may know, when you add up the state tax and all the local taxes, the sales tax we pay right here in Lake Charles is one of the highest in the country. So … that\u2019s the end of those Walmart prices on Amazon. Guess you can still use the site for reference.<\/p>\n The Baton Rouge Advocate reported that Revenue Secretary Kimberly Robinson said, \u201cThis [Amazon tax addition] isn\u2019t going to fill the deficit, but it is going to help.\u201d<\/p>\n Dream on. The only thing this is going to help do is help Louisiana shoppers control their binge shopping on Amazon.<\/p>\n Robinson mentions that the Amazon move will probably aid brick and mortar shops in Louisiana. And if Lake Charles had more than one used bookstore, I\u2019d be on board with that 100 percent. Dude, there\u2019s just no way to buy something here when it isn\u2019t here.<\/p>\n That\u2019s A Little Pricey, Isn\u2019t It?<\/strong><\/p>\n On Dec. 14, Lafayette\u2019s Daily Advertiser offered a digital subscription to the newspaper for an entire year for $5. Wonder how that compares to other prices in the state.<\/p>\n The State Of State Journalism<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s possible that the Advertiser\u2019s eye-catching offer could be interpreted as a comment on the state of state journalism in general. At the time of the offer, New Orleans\u2019 The Lens was asking for a minimum donation of $9 to enable it to keep its \u201cnonprofit newsroom\u201d solvent. In exchange, it promised to \u201cfoster transparent, accountable and engaged government.\u201d Need I point out that \u201ctransparent, accountable and engaged government\u201d would be worth $9 to the 10,000-ecillionth power?<\/p>\n In other crucial state journalistic matters, at a certain time of year \u2014 this time of year \u2014 9\/10ths of all Louisiana news stories filed are going to be about either sports or hunting.<\/p>\n The plus side is you can move down your Twitter Louisiana news feed really quickly by just scrolling right through every Tweet that has a photo of athletes or hunters.<\/p>\n The minus side is you\u2019re going to have to get whatever Louisiana news you get from the 1\/10 of the news stories that are left over.<\/p>\n And here\u2019s the opportunity that\u2019s knocking. There\u2019s got to be a gold mine waiting for the entrepreneur who starts a news source tailored to all the Louisianans who couldn\u2019t care less about sports and hunting. Of course the rewards to be collected from such a venture would undoubtedly be greatest in New Orleans.<\/p>\n Signals From The Hinterlands<\/strong><\/p>\n The distant lands where hard news subsists in obscurity are so rarely heard from that many believe them to be mythological places. Oh, but these lands, obscure as they are, really do exist. As evidence, here are four stories reported by WBRZ in four consecutive Tweets on Dec. 21:<\/p>\n \u2014 Fireworks explosion in Mexico kills 30; perhaps more.<\/p>\n \u2014 Papers link Tunisian man to Berlin truck attack.<\/p>\n \u2014 Indonesian police stop potential suicide bombing.<\/p>\n \u2014 Aleppo \u2014 in Syria \u2014 continues to be evacuated in the face of rebel threats.<\/p>\n So … that\u2019s the hard news. What do you think of it? I\u2019ll tell you what I think of it. BORING! I mean, who ever heard of \u201cIndonesia\u201d anyway? Is that place even in America?<\/p>\n The Funnies<\/strong><\/p>\n Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake): And now, I\u2019d like to show my love by making for you a Quebec pizza.<\/p>\n Prudence Roanoke (Meagan Good): What\u2019s that?<\/p>\n Grande: Pop-Tart with the ketchup. She\u2019s good.<\/p>\n Grande (threatening Guru Pitka, played by Mike Myers): Don\u2019t look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!<\/p>\n Hockey star Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his posse prepare to enter Guru Pitka\u2019s ashram.<\/p>\n Pitka: Now, your entourage must stay behind.<\/p>\n Roanoke: No, no, no. They protect me.<\/p>\n Pitka: They didn\u2019t protect you from that outfit, did they? (Posse laughs.)<\/p>\n Roanoke: What\u2019s wrong with shark skin?<\/p>\n \u2014 The Love Guru, 2008, dir. Mike Myers<\/p>\n Easy Fix<\/strong><\/p>\n Alex Rawls runs a New Orleans culture blog he calls My Spilt Milk. On Dec. 21, Rawls Tweeted this observation:<\/p>\n \u201cUgh. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees remind us that you can never escape high school.\u201d (He was referring to the conferring of an award to Chic\u2019s Nile Rogers.)<\/p>\n Alex! Good news! There\u2019s an easy fix for that! Stop paying attention to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees! Starting today, and every day for the rest of your life, don\u2019t pay attention to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees!<\/p>\n Take me as an example, Alex. I don\u2019t know who\u2019s in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and I don\u2019t care. Why? It doesn\u2019t have anything to do with anything! The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was created for one reason and one reason only. Cleveland, Ohio, needed some tourist revenue. And it got it.<\/p>\n Now, as for hearing all the cheesy music I heard on the radio when I was in high school every time I walk into a store, I haven\u2019t yet figured out a fix for that. Cringing seems to help.<\/p>\n That\u2019s A Wrap<\/strong><\/p>\n As usual, the Up Fronter won\u2019t be making any New Year\u2019s resolutions. But he, and the entire Up Front staff, wish all of you the very best of luck in breaking your resolutions as quickly as possible.<\/p>\n So, as the sun sets slowly in the west, we bid a fond farewell to all the friends we made in 2016, and, with a touch of melancholy, we look forward to the time when we will all be together again in 2017. Let us never forget the piquant and perspicacious New Year\u2019s advice of Quinn the Eskimo: \u201cThere are three things polite people never discuss in public: religion, politics and sex\u201d and \u201cAlways cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze.\u201d<\/p>\n The Up Fronter wishes everybody a happy New Year \u2014 and a happy Flag Day, too, just in case I forget.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A loyal reader who called me on Dec. 15 encouraged me to complete a task on the day she called, because, she said, \u201cafter today I\u2019ll be out until \u2018til the first.\u201d My first question for her, of course, was \u201cWhy are you still at work?\u201d I hope I don\u2019t need to tell anyone that [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":270,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[1359,38,1361,1360,806,37],"yoast_head":"\n