{"id":5099,"date":"2016-07-12T12:15:46","date_gmt":"2016-07-12T17:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/?p=5099"},"modified":"2016-07-12T12:15:59","modified_gmt":"2016-07-12T17:15:59","slug":"zombielike","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2016\/07\/12\/zombielike\/","title":{"rendered":"Zombielike"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Archer, <\/strong><\/p>\n

Recently I took a college semester off due to a nervous breakdown. I felt like my life was slipping away from me. I couldn\u2019t keep up with myself, a social life or my studies. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Then I realized this is life. There must be a balance between friends, play and work. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always worked so I can have money to spend without asking my mom. I\u2019ve always been very independent, never asking her for anything. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also always had a twinge of loneliness, but now that has turned into feeling worthless and helpless. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I have a fear of being homeless and poor because of my lack of communication and motivation with those around me. Sometimes I feel like a walking zombie with nothing to look forward to. I easily get frustrated, and on days like that I give up easily. I always plan to go here or there with a friend, but I don\u2019t do that anymore, because I can\u2019t keep up. <\/strong><\/p>\n

My brothers and sisters enjoy the simplest of things, yet I can\u2019t keep up a normal conversation with my mom. <\/strong><\/p>\n

When I\u2019m asked who I am, I write a list of negatives because I don\u2019t feel anything special. My self-esteem and self-worth are so low. I can\u2019t even get the simplest of jobs. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I constantly forget things, lose things and take forever to do anything. I hate shopping, because it takes forever and I don\u2019t even know what I like anymore. Hobbies or interest? I don\u2019t have any. I feel like all I do is eat whatever mom cooks and feel guilty about everything. I don\u2019t talk to my friends and don\u2019t help mom. I don\u2019t even help myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s like I\u2019m ashamed to be seen in public. I feel invisible. I\u2019m surrounded by people who love me, yet even though I try to love myself and life, I fail. I think and try to do something, but it\u2019s such an effort! Please help. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Jessica<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Jessica,<\/p>\n

You\u2019re describing depression, which is exactly what a nervous breakdown is. Clearly, you\u2019re not recovered from this. Your quote, \u201cI feel like a walking zombie\u201d is telling.<\/p>\n

After Gwyneth Paltrow gave birth to her son, she suffered from post-partum depression. Publicly, she described this as, \u201cI felt like a zombie\u201d \u2014 thus the pop culture description was born. Later, in a People magazine article, skier Lindsay Vonn described her depression in these terms: \u201cI couldn\u2019t get out of bed anymore. I felt hopeless and empty, like a zombie.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not uncommon for someone to have a \u201cbreakdown,\u201d get treated and then expect everything to return to normal. It can take many months for things to get back on track.<\/p>\n

Go back to the doctor who treated you, and tell him what you told me. I suspect you need further treatment and possibly medication for up to a year (or more) to recover. Do this now; the longer this condition continues, the harder it will be to treat. Good luck.<\/p>\n

Dr. Archer<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Dr. Archer,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My boyfriend and I have been happily dating for two years. We\u2019re both in college and are deeply in love. The only thing we do not share is our faith. He is Muslim and I am Christian. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Neither of us are strong in our faith or practicing, but his family is very religious. They are from Ethiopia. They\u2019ve been living in the U.S. for some time now, but a few members of his family have addressed their distaste that he\u2019s dating someone who is non-Muslim. <\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not a naive girl and I know what I\u2019m up against. I don\u2019t want him to have to choose between his family and me. I am upset, however, that it could come to this, even though we\u2019re in a committed relationship and only want to be together. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Quite recently, we had a sit down and a serious discussion about the matter of the few members in his family who disagree with our relationship. He came to the conclusion that he wanted to be with me and they would just have to accept that. <\/strong><\/p>\n

My heart is still cautious, because whenever he goes home to his family or hangs out with them for an extended period, he comes back a different person for a day or two. He becomes guarded and almost seems ashamed. This may not be the case; he promises me it\u2019s not. But, I have my doubts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to restrict him from his faith, but his family considers me a \u201csin\u201d and that hurts. He claims he wants to be a better Muslim. He doesn\u2019t pray, drinks, gambles, smokes and doesn\u2019t attend mosque. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Why must color and religion be of so much importance? I just want my man. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Rebeckah <\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Rebeckah,<\/p>\n

Race and religion have been the cause of wars since the beginning of time. Why? Fear of the unknown, different traditions, the inability to see another\u2019s point of view, hate, misunderstanding and prejudice. Things are slowly getting better, but we still have a long way to go.<\/p>\n

Young adults today have many more friends from diverse racial and religious backgrounds than in past generations. Along with that come relationships that are culturally diverse. It\u2019s estimated that in the U.S., there are 4.5 million interracial couples and this number is rapidly increasing.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m assuming the problem here is only with his family since you don\u2019t mention yours. He may have made the choice to forgo what his family wishes. But after spending time with them, he\u2019s different: guarded and feels ashamed. This is a red flag, and you\u2019re smart to observe it.<\/p>\n

The key is to relax. There\u2019s no rush. The longer the two of you go out, the more clarity will be revealed. No partner will make you feel good all the time. That\u2019s unreasonable. But the right mate will be respectful, positive, selfless and proud to have you with him \u2014 at all times.<\/p>\n

The best thing you can both do now is talk, talk, talk and get everything out in the open. Then, take your time and see how it goes. You\u2019ll get your answer.<\/p>\n

Dr. Archer<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Dale Archer is a board-certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs, and the author of The ADHD Advantage and the New York Times\u2019 bestselling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Archer, Recently I took a college semester off due to a nervous breakdown. I felt like my life was slipping away from me. I couldn\u2019t keep up with myself, a social life or my studies. Then I realized this is life. There must be a balance between friends, play and work. I\u2019ve always [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":266,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[820,34],"yoast_head":"\nZombielike - BestOfSwla<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2016\/07\/12\/zombielike\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Zombielike - BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Dr. Archer, Recently I took a college semester off due to a nervous breakdown. I felt like my life was slipping away from me. I couldn\u2019t keep up with myself, a social life or my studies. Then I realized this is life. There must be a balance between friends, play and work. 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