{"id":3843,"date":"2015-10-01T08:00:45","date_gmt":"2015-10-01T13:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/?p=3843"},"modified":"2015-09-16T15:17:02","modified_gmt":"2015-09-16T20:17:02","slug":"six-year-old-sex-offender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/10\/01\/six-year-old-sex-offender\/","title":{"rendered":"SIX-YEAR-OLD SEX OFFENDER?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Archer,<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man I know fairly well, and\u00a0 who has a daughter the same age as my son \u2014 six years old \u2014 approached me recently to discuss something my son told his daughter that he thought was highly inappropriate.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

He said my son asked his daughter to go into the nearby woods and \u201cplay boyfriend and girlfriend,\u201d and says my son then groped his daughter. Before I could ask a question, he said both his six-year-old and nine-year-old daughters were present, and both have sworn my son said this to them. This man then told me my son was guilty, and that I needed to solve this issue at once.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I told him the credibility of children is highly suspect, and that my son has never exhibited this kind of behavior, and doesn\u2019t even know what \u201cboyfriend and girlfriend\u201d means. The man did not relent, and became more agitated with my disbelief.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I told him that this was completely out of character for my son, and I didn\u2019t need to talk to him and find out more. I asked if there was anyone with the children when this happened, and if someone, such as an adult, had witnessed this exchange, to which he answered no. He said all he needs is his kids\u2019 word, and that should be good enough for me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My wife and I interrogated our son at length. He kept asking \u201cWhy would I say that to someone?\u201d and he never showed guilt or remorse, like he does when we do catch him lying.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

After speaking with our son, we decided to speak to one of our neighbors, who was about 20 ft. away from where this event supposedly took place. The neighbors clearly heard a third child, a friend of the older sister, suggest that my son and the six-year girl \u201cgo play boyfriend and girlfriend in the woods.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I called the girls\u2019 father, and started to tell him the evidence I had gathered from our neighbors, and offered the neighbor\u2019s phone number so he could verify, but he abruptly launched into a tirade, accusing me of calling his kids \u201cliars\u201d and telling me I didn\u2019t understand that my son has a serious problem. He said my son was stalking his daughters, and that I was \u201cdead wrong.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t see this man again until a week after the phone call, at the neighborhood pool, when my son got too close to him and his daughters. We told our son to move away, but he didn\u2019t understand why we were asking him to do so.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finally, my wife walked over and told the man that this is what you get by blowing this out of proportion. She was pointing her finger at him and he screamed \u201cDon\u2019t you point at me!\u201d and then yelled across the pool at my wife, claiming my son was a bad kid and stalked little girls.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since this happened, we let the teachers at school know about the incident, so they could be on the lookout for our son, as this guy may try to say something to disparage my son.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

This man is also the leader of the \u201cDad Patrol\u201d at the school, a program in which a dad will patrol the school for a day to be a \u201cwatch dog,\u201d to offer a sense of security to the students and all female teaching staff.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am very concerned this guy is off his rocker, and may do violent things to my son, or to our family. Should I take the word of a six-year-old, or that of a 40-year-old person who was not a witness, but a third party? What do you think?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Concerned Dad<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Concerned Dad,<\/p>\n

You\u2019re in an awkward and difficult position, and there\u2019s no response from you that will satisfy everyone.<\/p>\n

That being said, I\u2019d think the first priority is to once again approach your son in a non-threatening manner and to reflect on how he may have possibly contributed to the \u201cmisunderstanding.\u201d<\/p>\n

On the other hand, it sounds as though your relationship with the other father is currently beyond repair. Remember, all parents are programmed to protect their own family, even if it means distorting the truth. Your neighbor certainly has his own issues, and, without knowing what these are, there is little you can do about restoring the relationship until there is mutual respect.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d urge you and your son to see this as a learning opportunity, and remember: Don\u2019t dance with a wounded bear. I don\u2019t think hate and bitterness can last forever, unless they are constantly re-stoked. At this point, time is your ally, so let it go. Be open to offers to communicate, but, in the meantime, protect your family from awkward encounters with your neighbor.<\/p>\n

Understand that parents often go ballistic after finding out little Johnny was \u201cplaying doctor\u201d or \u201cplaying boyfriend and girlfriend.\u201d But this is just natural child curiosity; it\u2019s not abnormal. Certainly, the child should be talked to, but it should be in an explanatory way. Even if something did take place, it doesn\u2019t make your son a \u201csex-offender\u201d at the age of 6.<\/p>\n

You give no indication your neighbor could resort to violence, but, if you have any evidence for that, a restraining order is your next step.<\/p>\n

Often, these neighborhood disputes die out over time, if there is no interaction between the two parties for a while (though this could take a year or longer). Hopefully, that will be the case here. In the meantime, stay on your side of the fence, and avoid contact.<\/p>\n

Dear Dr. Archer,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m 22, and am very happy with my life. I\u2019m not depressed in the slightest. I\u2019m financially well off, and I have a great salaried occupation in a field I\u2019m passionate about.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t have any friends, though I love people, get along with people well, and I\u2019m very skilled with interacting with others.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been thinking lately that this is a little unusual. I frequently go out. I like to go hiking, fishing and camping during my weekends off work. People often invite me to go out and participate in activities, but I always turn them down.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had a co-worker ask me recently why I did so many exciting and fun activities alone. I had never put any thought into it before, so I ended up saying I had no idea.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My question to you: Are there many people out there who are like me? Physiologically, don\u2019t we need friendships in order to be happy? If so, how am I happy? Is there anything wrong with me for being this way?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Scott<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Scott,<\/p>\n

Congratulations. You\u2019re happy with your life, you\u2019re happy with yourself, and you value your time being alone. Not everyone is lucky enough to say that, so I consider this a success story.<\/p>\n

You like yourself. Cool! You may enjoy others, and even love people, but you also want to spend quality time alone. NBD \u2014 no big deal!<\/p>\n

Being alone is scary for so many people because they don\u2019t really like who they are. You clearly don\u2019t have any insecurities about this, except to wonder whether it\u2019s normal. It is. Don\u2019t mess things up by trying to be just like everyone else. Be true to who you are.<\/p>\n

There are, fortunately, many others like you. There\u2019s absolutely nothing wrong with you, although some friends may want you to change. They want you to fit into the mold of being \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n

I urge you to remain and be true to yourself. In other words, be better than normal. Remember the saying, \u201cIf it ain\u2019t broke, don\u2019t fix it.\u201d There\u2019s nothing wrong with you. Keep it up.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 Dr. Dale Archer is a board-certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs, and the author of the New York Times\u2019 bestselling book Better than Normal.\u00a0 Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Dr. Archer, A man I know fairly well, and\u00a0 who has a daughter the same age as my son \u2014 six years old \u2014 approached me recently to discuss something my son told his daughter that he thought was highly inappropriate.\u00a0 He said my son asked his daughter to go into the nearby woods [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":266,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[820,34],"yoast_head":"\nSIX-YEAR-OLD SEX OFFENDER? - BestOfSwla<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/10\/01\/six-year-old-sex-offender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"SIX-YEAR-OLD SEX OFFENDER? - BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Dr. Archer, A man I know fairly well, and\u00a0 who has a daughter the same age as my son \u2014 six years old \u2014 approached me recently to discuss something my son told his daughter that he thought was highly inappropriate.\u00a0 He said my son asked his daughter to go into the nearby woods [&hellip\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/10\/01\/six-year-old-sex-offender\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/bestofswla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-01T13:00:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-09-16T20:17:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/TAKING-CHARGE-INET.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"610\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"250\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dale Archer, M.D.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dale Archer, M.D.\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/10\/01\/six-year-old-sex-offender\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/10\/01\/six-year-old-sex-offender\/\",\"name\":\"SIX-YEAR-OLD SEX OFFENDER? 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