{"id":3378,"date":"2015-08-06T08:00:48","date_gmt":"2015-08-06T13:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/?p=3378"},"modified":"2015-07-15T14:45:52","modified_gmt":"2015-07-15T19:45:52","slug":"weird-news-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/08\/06\/weird-news-3\/","title":{"rendered":"WEIRD NEWS"},"content":{"rendered":"

One Major Flaw In The Plan<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gary Elliott, 19, was arrested shortly after someone had ripped a hole in the ceiling of Al\u2019s Army Navy store in Orlando, Fla., and \u2014 expertly shimmying down a rope, then back up \u2014 made off with about 70 guns in a bag. (\u201cIt must be Spider-Man,\u201d was proprietor Neal Crasnow\u2019s first thought.) However, minutes after the burglary, Elliott came to a police officer\u2019s attention on the street, bleeding, carrying the large bag \u2014 and pedaling away on his \u201cgetaway\u201d vehicle, which was a genuine tricycle.<\/p>\n

Latest Religious Messages<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 Jihadists governing ISIS\u2019 Euphrates province recently outlawed the popular hobby of breeding pigeons and threatened violators with flogging and imprisonment. The ban was initially thought to be aimed at frustrating pigeon-messaging to the outside world, but the published prohibition mentions other justifications \u2014 the hobby\u2019s frivolity (wasting time that could better be spent praying) and the special offense to God (because pigeons are \u201cuncovered,\u201d with exposed genitals).<\/p>\n

\u2014 In a June YouTube video reported by various news sites, Tempe, Ariz., pastor Steven Anderson (Faithful Word Baptist Church) prayed for God to \u201crip out the heart\u201d of Caitlyn Jenner, for whom Anderson expresses \u201ca perfect hatred\u201d for announcing she was no longer Bruce.<\/p>\n

\u2014 On his \u201c700 Club\u201d TV program in June, Pat Robertson patiently explained to a grieving mother why God could have allowed her 3-year-old son to die of illness \u2014 that God saw the big picture and knew, for instance, that the kid could have become a serial killer or contracted a hideous disease, and that she should be relieved that God took him early.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t Stop Myself<\/strong><\/p>\n

Esteban Rocha, 51, was arrested in June in Placerville, Calif., and charged with exposing himself to a woman \u2014 about 25 minutes after Rocha had left the Placerville Police Department, where he had dutifully gone to register his location so that police could keep track of him.<\/p>\n

It Pays To Fail<\/strong><\/p>\n

The enormous compensation CEOs of large corporations receive is justified in part by their bringing prosperity to their shareholders. But last year (an excellent one for most investors), two of the nation\u2019s best-paid chief executives \u201cearned\u201d handsome raises despite presiding over losses: Philippe Dauman of Viacom (paid $44.3 million, stock lost 6.6 percent) and Jeffrey Immelt of General Electric (an 88 percent raise to $37.3 million, stock lost 6.7 percent). CEO Steven Newman of Transocean earned only $14.2 million, according to a June Wall Street Journal report. But that was a 2.2 percent boost \u2014 for stewardship that resulted in one of 2014\u2019s biggest flops \u2014 Transocean\u2019s 59.9 percent loss for its shareholders.<\/p>\n

The Entrepreneurial Spirit<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Japanese report a decline of intimacy among the young. A Kyoto research institute developed a huggable, human-sized, featureless pillow (resembling Casper the Friendly Ghost), with skin-like texture, to serve as an embraceable intimacy substitute. For people with actual lovers, the \u201cHugvie\u201d (retailing for the equivalent of $80) has a mouth slot for a cellphone to enable running sweet talk with a remote \u201ccompanion.\u201d<\/p>\n

Redneck Marketing Challenges<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 Scotty and Beverly Franklin of Springfield, Mo., are trying to tempt cowboys to actually wear leather boots retrofitted to be open-toed sandals. KHOU-TV (Houston) reported that the Franklins would sandal-up your favorite pair for $75.<\/p>\n

\u2014 One of the more reviled consumer products of 2015 is a gun-shaped iPhone case, which so alarms police that it suddenly became hard to find in early July, even at the online Japan Trend Shop, which previously offered models from $5 to $49. Asked one officer, \u201cWhy would you want to make yourself look like a threat (to cops)?\u201d<\/p>\n

Family Values<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a recent BBC documentary, the son of renowned cosmologist Stephen Hawking (Tim, now 36) revealed that his dad is \u201chugely competitive\u201d and showed him \u201cno compassion at all\u201d when he was growing up. Tim said two of his few avenues of coping with such a famous, oblivious father were when he used to race around in his dad\u2019s specialized (and expensive) wheelchair (pretending it was a go-kart) and, for those deliciously awkward moments, adding cuss words to his father\u2019s synthesized speech software.<\/p>\n

Recurring Themes<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 Adam Hirtle, 30, of Colorado Springs, Colo., checked into a hospital on June 10 after intentionally shooting himself in the foot with a .22-caliber handgun \u2014 twice, \u201ccurious\u201d to see how it felt (with and without his boot to compare pain levels).<\/p>\n

\u2014 Jeremiah Raber, 38, recently commenced a crowdfunding campaign for a kids\u2019 sports version of his \u201cNutshellz\u201d jockstrap \u2014 according to Raber the strongest such apparel in the world, made from breakthrough \u201cDyneema\u201d (supposedly half the weight of Kevlar but twice as strong). Recently, using a \u201c.22 long rifle,\u201d Raber had business partner Matt Heck shoot him directly in the delicate area, but according to Raber, he felt just a \u201ctap.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aerobatic Drivers<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 A 79-year-old woman in Markgroeningen, Germany, hit a ditch coming down a hill and flipped through a wall into the second floor of a storage depot, resulting in only minor injuries (June).<\/p>\n

\u2014 A woman driving 100 mph on a freeway near Leicester, England, lost control of her car, which somehow wound up in a tree about 20 feet above the roadway. She and a passenger climbed down and walked away (May).<\/p>\n

\u2014 A car speeding over a ramp sailed off a road in Durban, South Africa, crashing back-end-first through the roof of a one-story home, resting with the front end pointing straight up. Neither driver nor resident was hurt (July).<\/p>\n

The Lunatic Fringe<\/p>\n

\u2014 While a custom fitting is being prepared, Alyeska Pipeline is \u201cservicing\u201d a leak in the trans-Alaska Pipeline by sending an employee twice a day in June to mop up the oil with rags.<\/p>\n

\u2014 A man was spotted and photographed on a riverbank in Nanyang, China, carefully (and oblivious to onlookers) bathing his inflatable doll.<\/p>\n

\u2014 In May, at the very moment police in Akron, Ohio, had begun (with a warrant) searching the home of Andrew Palmer, 46, for evidence of drug-dealing, a UPS driver appeared at the door to make a routine delivery \u2014 of four pounds of marijuana.<\/p>\n

A News Of The Weird Classic (July 2010)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fine Points of the Law: Things looked grim for Carlos Simon-Timmerman, arrested by U.S. border agents in Puerto Rico for bringing a child-sex video home from a holiday in Mexico. The star of \u201cLittle Lupe the Innocent\u201d looked very young, and federal prosecutors in April (2010) called an \u201cexpert witness\u201d pediatrician, who assured the jury, based on the girl\u2019s underdevelopment, that she was a minor. However, Simon-Timmerman\u2019s lawyer had located \u201cLupe\u201d via her website, and she cheerfully agreed to fly in from her home in Spain with her passport and other documents to prove, at a dramatic point in the trial, that she was 19 (and \u201clegal\u201d) when the video was made. Simon-Timmerman was acquitted.<\/p>\n

Update<\/strong><\/p>\n

California inventor Matt McMullen, who makes the world\u2019s most realistic life-sized female doll, the RealDoll (with exquisite skin texture and facial and body architecture, and which sells for $5,000 to $10,000), is working with engineers experienced in robotics to add animation \u2014 but according to a June New York Times report, faces a built-in problem. As a pioneer Japanese robotics developer observed, robots that become too humanlike tend to disgust rather than satisfy. Hence, the more lifelike McMullen makes his RealDolls, the more likely the customer is to be creeped out rather than turned on \u2014 perhaps forcing the virtuoso McMullen to leave enough imperfection to reassure the customer that it\u2019s just a doll.<\/p>\n

Government In Action<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 The federal Medicare Fraud Strike Force obtained indictments of 243 people in June in a variety of alleged scams and swindles, and among those arrested was Dr. Noble U. Ezukanma, 56, of Fort Worth, Texas, who once billed the government for working 205 hours in a single day (October 16, 2012). Other indictees were similarly accused of inflating the work they supposedly did for Medicare patients, but Dr. Ezukanma clearly had the most productive day of the bunch.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Republican presidential contender Carly Fiorina, who with her husband earned $2.5 million last year, disclosed that the U.S. tax system required her to file not just a federal return but returns in 17 states, as well \u2014 and a June New York Times report chose one state (Michigan) to highlight the Fiorinas\u2019 plight. Ultimately, the Fiorinas determined that they owed Michigan income tax of $40, but they had no way of knowing the exact amount until they had completed 58 pages of documents (to rule out various Michigan attempts to collect more because the tax they owed was more justly payable to other states and could thus be excluded).<\/p>\n

\u2014 Canada\u2019s naval vessels stationed in Halifax, Nova Scotia, currently lack supply-ship services, according to a May Canadian Press report. One of the two supply vessels has been decommissioned, and the other, 45 years old, is floating limply because of corrosion, and work on a replacement will not begin until 2017. Consequently, according to the report, the navy has been forced to order repair parts for the ship by advertising for them on eBay.<\/p>\n

Cultural Diversity<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014 A low-caste minor girl was beaten up by several higher-caste women in the village of Ganeshpura, India, in June (in retaliation for the girl\u2019s having disrespected a male relative of the women \u2014 by allowing her shadow to partially cover the man). The girl\u2019s family managed to get to a police station to file charges, but in some remote villages like Ganeshpura, higher-caste aggressors can intimidate the victims into silence (and in this case, allegedly threatened to kill the girl and members of her family for the shadow-casting).<\/p>\n

\u2014 Yunessan Spa House in Hakone, Japan, recently began offering guests supposedly soothing, skin-conditioning baths \u2014 of ramen noodles (elevating to health status what might be Japan\u2019s real national dish). The pork broth that fills the tub is genuine, but because of health department regulations, only synthetic noodles can be used, and it is not clear that the artificial ramen achieves the same (allegedly) beautifying collagen levels as actual noodles.<\/p>\n

Oh, Dear!<\/strong><\/p>\n

The New York Court of Appeals ruled in June that, when a body is taken for official autopsy and organs are removed (including the brain), the deceased\u2019s family does not necessarily have a right to receive the body with organs re-inserted. \u201cNothing in our common law jurisprudence,\u201d the judges wrote, mandates \u201cthat the medical examiner do anything more than produce the … body.\u201d The family had demanded the entire body back for a \u201cproper\u201d Catholic burial.<\/p>\n

Sounds Like A Joke<\/strong><\/p>\n

In May, police in Anglesey, North Wales, called for a hostage negotiator to help with two suspects (aged 21 and 27) wanted for a series of relatively minor crimes and who were holed up on the roof of a building. However, the building was a one-story community center, and the men (whose feet were dangling over a gutter about 8 feet off the ground) had refused to come down. Even as a crowd gathered to watch, the men managed to hold out for 90 minutes before being talked down.<\/p>\n

Least Competent Criminals<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marijuana is purported to make some heavy users paranoid, and the January arrest of alleged Bozeman, Mont., dealers Leland Ayala-Doliente, 21, and Craig Holland, 22, may have been a case in point. Passersby had reported the two men pacing along the side of Golden Beauty Drive in Rexburg, Idaho, and, when approached by a car, would throw their hands up until the vehicle passed. When police finally arrived, one suspect shouted: \u201cWe give up. We know we\u2019re surrounded. The drugs (20 pounds of marijuana) are (over there).\u201d According to the Idaho Falls Post Register, they were not surrounded, nor had they been followed by undercover officers \u2014 as the men claimed.<\/p>\n

News You Can Use<\/strong><\/p>\n

A brief Washington Post review in June heralded the new edition of the Routledge International Handbook of Ignorance Studies, covering \u201cdifferent types of ignorance\u201d in a range of subjects by authors from various countries. Among the valuable conclusions in the book is that while \u201cindividual ignorance\u201d may be rational in some cases, it is unlikely that \u201ccollective ignorance\u201d advances the society. In any event, the author concluded, \u201cThe realm of ignorance is so vast that no one volume can fully cover it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

A News Of The Weird Classic (October 2010)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ingrid Paulicivic filed a lawsuit in September (2010) against Laguna Beach, Calif., gynecologist Red Alinsod over leg burns she bafflingly acquired during her 2009 hysterectomy \u2014 a procedure that was topped off by the doctor\u2019s nearly gratuitous \u201cname-branding\u201d of her uterus with his electrocautery tool. Dr. Alinsod explained that he carved \u201cIngrid\u201d in inch-high letters on the organ only after he had removed it and that such labeling helps in the event a woman requests the return of the uterus as a souvenir. He called the branding just a \u201cfriendly gesture\u201d and said he did not know how the burns on Paulicivic\u2019s leg occurred. (Update: In 2012, a court in Orange County, Calif., ruled that Alinsod\u2019s regimen did not constitute malpractice.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One Major Flaw In The Plan Gary Elliott, 19, was arrested shortly after someone had ripped a hole in the ceiling of Al\u2019s Army Navy store in Orlando, Fla., and \u2014 expertly shimmying down a rope, then back up \u2014 made off with about 70 guns in a bag. (\u201cIt must be Spider-Man,\u201d was proprietor [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":303,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[65,40],"yoast_head":"\nWEIRD NEWS - BestOfSwla<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bestofswla.com\/2015\/08\/06\/weird-news-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"WEIRD NEWS - BestOfSwla\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One Major Flaw In The Plan Gary Elliott, 19, was arrested shortly after someone had ripped a hole in the ceiling of Al\u2019s Army Navy store in Orlando, Fla., and \u2014 expertly shimmying down a rope, then back up \u2014 made off with about 70 guns in a bag. 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