Kazakhstani body builder Yuri Tolochko, who describes himself as a “sexy maniac,” has told members of the Kazak media that he is having an affair with a metal ashtray that he procured at a nightclub. After a photo shoot with the ashtray, Tolochko told a reporter of his feelings about the ashtray: “I wanted to touch it again; smell it. I love its brutal scent; the touch of metal on my skin. I also like that it has a story; that it’s not new; that it has served many people and continues to serve them.”
Likes To Throw Children Into Rivers
Kimberly Dawn Maxwell of Ashland, Ky., recently sat down at a picnic at Harris Riverfront Park in Huntington, W.V., where a father and two children she had never met were enjoying a meal. The dad reported that Maxwell was mumbling to herself. He believed she might be under the influence. So he packed up lunch and directed the kids away from her. As they walked away, Maxwell ran up behind the 5-year-old son, grabbed him and threw him in the Ohio River. A bystander who witnessed the incident jumped in and saved the boy. Then Maxwell jumped into the river. When police arrived, she told them, “This is international waters. Police cannot do anything to me.” When the deputy asked her to come talk to him, she responded, “that is not going to happen.” A rescue boat finally plucked Maxwell from the water and she was evaluated at a hospital before being moved to jail.
Cows summering in the mountains of Switzerland have to find their way to lower elevations as winter comes on. But in one herd, 10 cows were injured and couldn’t hoof it down safely. So, farmers arranged for them to be harnessed and flown by helicopter to terrain more accessible to conventional transportation. The cows were held in a mesh harness, and farmers grabbed ropes to guide them down. Farmer Jonas Arnold noted, “I didn’t ask a cow how it feels after such a flight, as it couldn’t answer. But it was only a short, calm flight.” The cows are scheduled to participate in the annual cow parade at Urnerboden, Switzerland.
The Unarmed Dog
Jonathan George of Norwalk, Ohio, told police that his dog Lula shot herself while she was bringing him his gun. “Said his dog shot itself and he trained the dog to bring a gun to him,” said police Capt. Jim Fulton. “The dog had the gun in its mouth when it went off accidentally.” But officers didn’t believe that story; Fulton said George’s blood alcohol content was 1.7 — about twice the legal limit for driving — and that he “shouldn’t be drinking and handling firearms, bottom line.” George later admitted that he’d been trying to unload the gun when he shot the dog in the jaw. Lula is recovering from her injuries but lost an eye in the shooting. George was charged with cruelty to animals and two other misdemeanors.
It’s Perfectly Safe Unless It Breaks Your Neck
After 20 years in operation, a roller coaster in the Fuji-Q Highland Park amusement park in Fujiyoshida, Japan, has been shut down because in the last 10 months, six riders have suffered broken bones while riding it. The Do-Dodonpa is famous for accelerating from 0 to 112 mph in just 1.56 seconds. Four of the casualties involved broken necks or backs. After suspending the coaster, the park and Sansei Technologies, which manufactured the ride, inspected it to see if they could determine the cause of the injuries. But they came to no conclusions.
Please Recycle Your Hip Joints
Mortician Caitlin Doughty, stars in a YouTube show called Ask the Mortician. She has answered all kinds of questions about what happens when bodies are cremated. For example, she says titanium hip joints don’t melt along with tissue, clothes and hair, so “the metal has to be removed by hand or by a large magnet. And it’s not handled as biological waste because it was never really part of the body to begin with.” She said hip and knee replacements can now be recycled into road signs and car parts. Pacemakers, on the other hand, must be removed before cremation, as the batteries and intense heat could cause an explosion. And breast implants? Doughty says they just melt, but can leave a “gelatinous goo” stuck to the bottom of the cremation chamber.
Texting Has Gone To The Devil
Monsignor Stephen Rossetti of Washington, D.C., an exorcist, licensed psychologist and counselor, is warning Catholics that demons have figured out how to send threatening text messages to their targets. Rossetti claims to have “three cases in which demons have texted the team and/or the family of the possessed person. All were high-value targets with high-ranking, powerful demons involved.” For example, one text read, “Her torments start now, priest … all night. We will make her bleed.” Rossetti says there is a long history of demons influencing technology, as can be seen in flickering lights and TVs.
The Silver Lining
When Hurricane Ida swept through New York, the heavy rain and flooding did an estimated $50 million in damage. In the Big Apple, the storm may have cleared out a significant portion of the rat population that lived in the sewers and subway system. Experts believe hundreds of thousands of rats may have died as sewer systems were overwhelmed and dumped into local bays and estuaries, where the rodents later washed up on beaches. Bobby Corrigan, longtime pest control expert said, “I can’t imagine they would’ve survived.” Conversely, those that did weather the storm appear to be seeking shelter on higher ground, as exterminators report a spike in complaints.
The Ida Blob
As Hurricane Ida made its way up the East Coast and Louisiana started to clean up, a Covington Domino’s Pizza store tossed some of its leftover dough into a dumpster out back. Temperatures in the area climbed into the 90s, and the dough climbed out of the waste container. Nicole Amstutz, who lives nearby, started documenting the dough blob, posting regular updates on Facebook. The dough eventually spilled over onto the pavement. Amstutz said later it had fallen and boxes were placed on top of it.
She Gets Her Best Sleep When She’s Awake
Li Zhanying of Henan, China, is known for having gone more than 40 years without sleeping at all. Her husband and neighbors confirmed the claim, saying she stayed up all night to do chores and didn’t ever nap. Recently, Li visited a Beijing medical center, where doctors used sensors to monitor her. They discovered that Li does sleep — with her eyes open and while she is talking to her husband. The doctors called it “sleeping when awake,” which is similar to sleepwalking. They said Li sometimes had “slow eyeballs and hollow eyes,” indicating that she was resting.
When The Asphalt Breaks
In one neighborhood in south St. Louis, the century-old brick stormwater sewer system works in an alarming way. When heavy rain falls, the street “explodes,” with water charging up through any cracks and manholes it can find. On Aug. 30, resident Sacha Heath recorded video of the phenomenon and posted it to Twitter. “You hear the manholes kind of trembling and you hear the water exploding and it sounds like steam, and then chunks of asphalt are flying in the air,” Heath said. “Obviously, you don’t want asphalt chunks flying into the bottom of your car.” But the Metropolitan Sewer District doesn’t find it unusual: Sean Hadley of the MSD deadpanned that “the water’s gotta go somewhere. That’s what the system is designed to do … for it to pop the manhole covers so that the water can come out and it’s not popping in people’s basements. That’s what you don’t want to happen.”
Go To My Wedding, Or Else
Doug Simmons, 44, and Debra McGee, 43, of Chicago, planned a destination wedding in Jamaica, to which they invited 109 guests. “Four times we asked, ‘Are you available to come; can you make it?’ and they kept saying yes,” Simmons explained. But when the big day arrived, the couple realized not everyone had shown up. So Simmons, a small-business owner, sent invoices for $120 per person to all the no-shows. “This amount is what you owe us for paying for your seats in advance. You can pay via Zelle or PayPal.” Simmons said he and his wife were hurt that people didn’t show up: “I took that personally.” No word on whether they’ve collected on any of the invoices.