A Dream Sixty Years In The Making

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A Dream Sixty Years In The Making

In 1961, when she was 10 years old, Gwen Goldman sent a letter to New York Yankees general manager Roy Hamey, offering her services as a bat girl. Hamey responded, “In a game dominated by men, a young lady such as yourself would feel out of place in a dugout.” Goldman kept the letter from Hamey on her bulletin board for the next 60 years. Her daughter recently forwarded it to current general manager Brian Cashman. On June 28, Goldman was invited to Yankee Stadium to fulfill her dream. Her visit included a tour of the clubhouse, meet-and-greet with players and coaches, and photos with umpires. She got to throw out the first pitch while wearing a full pinstripe Yankees uniform. “Sixty years thinking about this and here it is,” Goldman said.

If You Love Me, Don’t Handcuff Me

Alexandr Kudlay, 33, and Viktoria Pustovitova, 28, from Kharkiv, Ukraine, handcuffed themselves together for three months to test their fraught relationship. The experiment was a failure. Kudlay and Pustovitova had their shackles cut off on national television, with Kudlay admitting, “we are not on the same wavelength. We are totally different.” Pustovitova tearfully admitted, “I think it will be a good lesson for us, for other Ukrainian couples and couples abroad not to repeat what we have done.”

The Criminal Potential Of Slithering

Aron Jermaine Major, of Atlanta, is accused of 17 counts of burglary after a crime spree that gave him the moniker “the crawling burglar.” Last September, Major started slithering through windows at metro Atlanta restaurants and slithering across the floor to avoid motion detectors. He robbed the businesses of cash and liquor. He was finally apprehended in a traffic stop, where his license number gave him away. Major had several burglary convictions on his record; he was held in the Cobb County jail without bond.

Only Her Pride Was Injured

When an 18-year-old youth found herself locked out of her home in Henderson, Nev., she tried to enter the home through the chimney. Henderson firefighters stated that the woman became stuck “just above the flue.” They used a rope system to pull her to safety.

Sounds Like A Non-Certified Excuse

The Dutch owners of a 61-year-old Noah’s Ark replica and the British Maritime and Coastguard Agency (MCA) are locked in a stalemate over the huge vessel, which has been docked at Ipswich, England, since November, 2019. The MCA declared the 230-foot-long ark was not seaworthy, and thus could not sail. The owners are being fined 500 pounds each day the vessel stays in the port. For their part, the owners say the boat, which is home to a Biblical museum, has always been categorized as a “non-certified floating object.”

An Art Collector Is Born

Up for auction in Toronto is a painting that was purchased in a South River thrift store for $4.09 by an unnamed buyer. After buying the painting, the purchaser noticed the artist’s signature on the back, with a date of 1997. Canadian auction house Cowley Abbott has identified the painting as “DHead XLVI” by rock superstar David Bowie, who died in 2016. It’s part of a series of 47 pieces of art Bowie made between 1995 and 1997. As of press time, bids were up to $38,100.

Criminal Display Of Logo

New York State police arrested Austin O. Weismore of Blossvale, N.Y., after he stole a U-Haul van. Weismore drove the van from Florida to New York, but never returned the rental. Instead, he used black spray paint to try to disguise the signature color palette and logo. Police found the van while they were investigating a burglary. They noted that the U-Haul logo was still visible on the front windshield. Weismore also removed the catalytic converter. He was charged with felony grand larceny, among other crimes.

If I Win, You Can Be On My Hit Squad

Long-shot candidate for U.S. Congress William Braddock spent 30 minutes on the phone with conservative activist Erin Olszewski before he became a candidate. Braddock, who is vying to represent the Tampa Bay, Fla., area, told Olszewski that fellow candidate Anna Paulina Luna wouldn’t be a problem because he would send “a Russian and Ukrainian hit squad” to make her “disappear.” “I really don’t want to have to end anybody’s life for the good of the people of the United States of America,” Braddock said, adding “… if the poll says Luna’s gonna win, she’s gonna be gone. For the good of our country, we have to sacrifice the few.” Braddock described his hit squad as having “no snipers. [It will be] up close and personal. So they know that the target is gone.” Olszewski turned the recordings over to police, saying, “Normal people don’t say those things.”

How Dolphins Get High

A new BBC documentary has revealed that dolphins chew on puffer fish in an apparent effort to get high. Puffer fish release a nerve toxin when they’re provoked. Large doses of it can be deadly, but small amounts can produce a narcotic effect. Dolphins, who partake of just the right amount, appear to enter a trancelike state. Rob Pilley, a zoologist who worked as a producer on the series, said that after the dolphins chewed on the fish, they “began acting most peculiarly, hanging around with their noses at the surface as if fascinated by their own reflection. It was the most extraordinary thing to see.”

Enjoy Being Stranded Overseas

Texans Kristen Bishop and Sophie Miller were strangers from Texas until late March, when Miller called Bishop to reveal that both women were dating the same man, “Adam.” At first, Bishop didn’t believe Miller. But soon the facts came to light, and the two women cooked up a plot for revenge. Bishop and Adam had planned a vacation to Turkey for early April, which was just a few days after the revelatory phone call. When they landed in Istanbul, Bishop told him that she knew what had been going on. Miller met them at the airport. The two women then abandoned Adam. Bishop had changed all the reservations in Adam’s name to Miller’s name. “His jaw dropped when he saw (Sophie Miller),” Bishop said. “We became friends quite quickly after we met up,” Bishop said of herself and Miller. “We really bonded over the eight-day trip, and it’s by far the happiest thing out of this unfortunate situation, that I found a great friend.”

Crow Ant-ics

In Victoria, B.C., photographer Tony Austin was out for a nature walk when he ran across a crow flopping around in the dirt. “It would sort of … hop into the air and … then hop back onto the gravel,” Austin said. As Austin grew nearer, he saw that the bird was covered with ants. He was concerned for the bird’s welfare. But when he posted a picture on a Facebook page for bird enthusiasts, he was relieved. Posters said the crow was “anting” — spreading ants on its feathers and wings. Experts aren’t clear about why birds do this; it may be an effort to share the ants’ defensive secretions of fungicides, miticides and insecticides.

Retooling

The Club Pro Adult Entertainment strip club in Toronto, Ont., was nearly destroyed by COVID shutdowns. until owner Teresa Marciano and her staff came up with another idea. “Since we couldn’t operate as a restaurant, the only thing we wanted to do was something outdoors,” Marciano said. “Most of our staff and managers love golf, so we tried to marry both industries together.” The new venture, Stiff Shafts, turns the former club’s parking lot into a driving range where golfers can aim their shots at caricatures of prominent politicians. Bartenders and waitstaff provide food and drink to customers, and the dancers are caddies.

Mouthpiece Chic

If the high-heeled Crocs aren’t outre enough for you, look into this accessory: the Mundstuck, made by MYL Berlin. “Mundstuck” means “mouthpiece”; it fits over the bottom lip and decorates the chin. MYL Berlin calls it “structured, chic and daring. … It nestles perfectly on your lip without applying pressure or hindering your mobility.” The stainless steel Mundstuck comes in black, gold or silver and in three different designs. Prices range from $75 to $140.

That’s A Very Funny Joke, Officer

Two West Jordan, Utah, sisters, 9 and 4 years old, started driving before dawn, headed for California beaches. Several miles away from home, the young driver veered into oncoming traffic, slamming into a semi-truck. Both girls were wearing seatbelts, and no one was hurt. Their parents were unaware of the joyride until police called them after the accident. “I guess they were intending to start their summer vacation a little early,” remarked West Valley police spokesperson Roxeanne Vainuku.

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