Booze Monkey Sentenced To Life

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Booze Monkey Sentenced To Life

Kalua, an infamous alcoholic mon-key in Kanpur, India, has been sentenced to live out his days in isolation. The ani-mal once belonged to a local occultist who gave him alcohol. After the owner died, Kalua couldn’t get his fix and be-came aggressive, sinking his teeth into more than 250 people, one of whom died of his wound. The Kanpur zoo took Kalua in, trying to acclimate him to captivity and other monkeys. But zoo workers are throwing in the towel. “It has been three years since he was brought here,” said zoo doctor Mohd Nasir. “He will remain in captivity all his life.”

Express Lane

A 29-year-old man in Berlin triggered alarms at a supermarket when he tried to leave without paying for $5.65 in merchandise. Police had little trouble ap-prehending the man because, in his hurry to escape, he left his 8-year-old son be-hind. The burglar’s “accessory” helped police identify him. They probably would have caught the thief regardless as he fell down as he was leaving the supermarket and ended up in the hospital. Can’t Be True A 30-year-old man turned up at Zhaoqing First People’s Hospital in Guangdong, China, suffering from ab-dominal pain. Doctors performed a series of scans before discovering a freshwater fish in the man’s large intestine. The man explained the fish by saying he had ac-cidently sat on it. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” responded one of the doctors. The spiny fins of the Mozambique tilapia had caused ruptures in the man’s intestine. The fish had to be removed through his abdomen by surgery, but the man sur-vived the ordeal and recovered.

Barbecue Fail

Several sailors of the Royal Navy found themselves in over their heads as their plan for a barbecue and beers got out of hand. A source said, “They were smashed and hadn’t bothered to watch for the tide.” One partier got cut off from the group; when another went out to rescue him, they both struggled. Emergency ser-vices had to be called in. One of the sail-ors had to be lifted off a cliff with a winch. The Royal Navy expressed its regret that emergency services were needed, but they “remain grateful for their help.”

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

Canadian Glen Richard Mousseau’s adventure with Michigan law enforce-ment began when he was arrested in St. Clair County while driving a U-Haul truck. He was found to have $97,000. He cooperated with authorities, admitting he was the owner of a submarine seized by the Border Patrol that he had been us-ing to ferry drugs between Michigan and Ontario, Canada. reported Mousseau agreed to await the investigation’s outcome in a local hotel. But feder-al agents said he later absconded, leaving behind five phones, a laptop and a diving suit. A few days later, Border Patrol offi-cers observed packages being thrown into the Detroit River from a vessel entering U.S. They found Mousseau unconscious in the water with 265 pounds of marijuana tethered to him with a tow strap. He’s being held on charges of smuggling and possession of a controlled substance.

Questionable Judgment

Shaun Michaelsen, 41, told police in Jupiter, Fla., he was only trying to be a cool father when he let a friend’s 12-year-old daughter drive his Jeep. Officer Craig Yochum saw the Jeep make an illegal U-turn and speed away. So he followed as the vehicle hit speeds of 85 mph in a 45 mph zone. The underage driver told Yochum that Michaelson, who admitted he had been drinking, told the girl to drive fast. He was arrested and is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail.


Richland County (S.C.) sheriff’s of-ficers are searching for a man and woman who held a Pizza Hut manager at gun-point in Columbia — because they didn’t receive the 2-liter bottle of Pepsi they had ordered for delivery with their pie. The manager said the couple entered the res-taurant complaining about the delivery. They then came behind the counter; as the man held out a gun, the woman removed a bottle of Pepsi from the cooler. Once the goods were in hand, the man put his gun away, and they left the store.

Bright Idea

A tech startup called ChampTrax has a solution for the problem of professional sports being played in empty stadiums. Jason Rubenstein, of Kansas City, Mo., said that his company’s Hear Me Cheer technology allows fans watching at home to enable a microphone on a phone or laptop as they watch a game. The sounds fans make are captured and aggregated into a single track for the broadcast. “If you’re alone in your home, what’s the point of booing if no one can hear you?” Rubenstein asked. ESPN featured Hear Me Cheer on a June 9 boxing broadcast and during the NFL draft in April.

All Wet

Seniors at Ashley Ridge High School in Dorchester County, S.C., were ex-cited about attending their in-person graduation ceremony. Administrators planned limited proceedings on the field at Swamp Fox Stadium, where students and spectators could spread out in keep-ing with COVID-19 restrictions. As prin-cipal Karen Radcliffe began to introduce the valedictorian, the field’s sprinklers switched on, spraying the field and send-ing people scrambling. “Everyone started running to the sides to try and avoid get-ting soaked before getting their diploma!” said senior Megan Mowrer.

Harassing The Moose

The U.S. Forest Service is inves-tigating a photo posted by David Lesh, on Instagram that shows him walking on a log across Hanging Lake in Garfield County, Colo., in defiance of clearly post-ed rules prohibiting people from entering the water there. The post blew up with criticisms. But Lesh fired back, challeng-ing others to walk on the log. Lesh has a history of run-ins with authorities, includ-ing one in which he was cited for harass-ing a moose with his car and another al-leging that he set grocery carts on fire in Boulder, Colo.

Everyone’s a Critic

Saxophonist Christian Beck treat-ed his neighbors to two hours of music from his front porch in Sible Hedingham, England, every Saturday during the local coronavirus lockdown. Passersby would stop and listen. Residents of the nearby Forest Home care facility were particular fans. Money had been raised for charity through donations people left. But Beck said his Saturday concerts have come to an end since a letter from the Braintree Council informed him that an official noise complaint has been lodged against him. “Playing the saxophone is like a therapy for me … and it’s upsetting to think that someone complained,” Beck said. “I didn’t want to go against anyone so I’m calling it a day.”

Police Report

— Angel Castro was arrested in Schenectady, N.Y., after police found him and a missing golf course beverage cart at the Kelsey Commons apartment com-plex. Police spokesman Sgt. Nick Mannix said a worker at the Stadium Golf Club had driven the beverage cart up to the clubhouse to restock it with drinks when the suspect jumped inside and took off. Castro was charged with felony grand larceny. — Mark Alan Johnson of Rice Lake, Wisc., was sentenced to five years in state prison following his 15th arrest for drunk driving. Most recently, he was arrested after he steered his pickup into a ditch near his home. At the time, his license had been revoked, and his blood alcohol content was measured at almost twice the legal limit. But Johnson told police he’d had only two glasses of wine and a can of beer. Johnson’s attorney, Renee Taber, noted that Johnson is a “likable, down-to-earth, blue-collar man,” but his “downfall is that he is an alcoholic.” After four years of confinement, he’ll be eligible for the state’s substance abuse program.


The Boston Typewriter Orchestra has been performing its unique brand of mu-sic throughout New England since 2004. Conductor Tim Devin and a group of friends founded the ensemble as a joke. After premiering at Boston’s Art Beat Festival, the idea took off. Using vintage machines to rhythmically clack, roll, spin and bang out music, the typist-musicians say different models produce different sounds. “A Smith-Corona Galaxy 12 has a power space function that makes a nice metallic clang sound,” says musician Brendan Emmett Quigley.

Pretending To Board

A Plane For those who miss traveling abroad, Songshan Airport in Taipei, Taiwan, is of-fering 90 people the opportunity to tour the airport and “pretend to go abroad.” Participants can spend a half-day go-ing through immigration, boarding an airplane and then getting off the plane and re-entering the country through im-migration. “People who didn’t have the opportunity to take international flights at Songshan can use this chance to experi-ence and learn more about the boarding process and relevant service facilities,” Chih-ching Wang, deputy director of the airport, told CNN Travel. Tour custom-ers will also get to take home “exclusive mysterious gifts.”

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