They Called The Wrong Play

admin Thursday, December 19, 2019 Comments Off on They Called The Wrong Play
They Called The Wrong Play

Two football-crazed fans of Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes couldn’t quite pull off a heist in Lawrence, Kan. Pulling up to a McDonald’s, the two ran inside, grabbed a life-size cardboard cutout of Mahomes and ran out, stuffing the promotional piece into their car. Lawrence Police spokesman Patrick Compton said that as they received the call about the theft, they were working a car crash nearby. One of the vehicles just happened to have a Mahomes cutout in the back seat. Officers questioned the suspects and ordered them to appear for alleged theft. Flat Pat was returned to the McDonald’s.

Don’t Just Bury Folks

Police arrived at the home of Vernelle Jackson, 83, in Norway, Maine, inquiring about the whereabouts of another woman in her 80s who had lived with Jackson. As police excavated the back yard, Jackson admitted to authorities that she buried the woman 18 months earlier. “She begged me when she passed away that she didn’t have enough insurance to bury her, and I don’t have it. And she said, ‘Will you promise me to bury me in your yard so I’ll be close?’ … I finally agreed to do it to satisfy her,” Jackson explained. “I put her in a tarp. I didn’t carry her. I have COPD. I couldn’t breathe that good.” She was surprised to learn that she would have needed a permit to legally bury her friend in her yard, and she’s still unclear whether she’s in trouble with the law. The State Medical Examiner’s office is working to ID the body and determine the cause of death.

What’s A Paramedic To Do?

Paramedics responded to a home in Detroit where a man was suffering from a heart attack. As they worked on the victim, another man took a woman into a bedroom in the home and stabbed her. Then he ran out of the house; he is still on the loose. The woman died at the scene, and the heart attack victim did not survive either. Police are still trying to figure out the relationships between the three people.

Drive-In Kitchen

In Jacksonville, Fla., as Hurricane Dorian approached, Patrick Eldridge became concerned that his Smart car would blow away. So he proposed to his wife, Jessica, that he park it in their kitchen. (Her car was already in the garage.) She doubted he could do it. But “he opened the double doors and had it in. I was amazed that it could fit,” Jessica said. She said there was still room to move around and cook, but “my dogs are confused by it.” Dorian narrowly missed Jacksonville as it moved up the East Coast.

The Club Seems Different These Days

The former Spearmint Rhino Gentleman’s Club in Trenton, Wisc., has found an unlikely new life as the Ozaukee Christian School. Kris Austin, the school’s administrator, said the stripper pole had been removed, along with the leopard-print carpet. But the stage and bar are still there, and the building is still owned by the Spearmint Rhino chain, based in California. It’s an arrangement school leaders have had to come to terms with. “Our take on it is that people are people,” said school board president David Swartz. “We’re sinners, too, even though we don’t agree with their business model per se. … Now we’re going to transfer that place into a place where boys and girls are raised to be our next leaders with character.”

Buggy Fever

A Trumbull County, Ohio, sheriff’s deputy pulled over an Amish buggy after the officer noticed there were two Amish men inside who were drinking. There was also a 12-pack of beer on the buggy’s roof. The old-fashioned conveyance sported an unlikely modern convenience: a stereo system with large speakers. As soon as the buggy came to a stop, the two men jumped out and escaped into heavy woods near the road. Meanwhile, the horse took off. The officer was able to catch up with the horse and have the buggy towed; the drivers were still at large. The buggy “is a vehicle, it’s on the roadway and the … laws do apply,” said Chief Deputy Joe Dragovich. “You’re not allowed to drink and drive or operate a buggy.”

Getting Some Trash In The Neighborhood

Lee Dong-jin, the mayor of Jindo county in South Korea, wanted to make International Coastal Cleanup Day special for his community. So, the day before the global event, he instructed crews to transport more than a ton of trash that had already been collected from coastlines and deposit it on a pristine beach in Jindo. “We brought in waste Styrofoam and other coastal trash gathered from nearby areas so the 600 participants could carry out clean-up activities,” Lee said. He apologized for deceiving the volunteers and assured residents that there was no “secondary pollution.”


Two crooks in the Bronx went to great lengths to rob a Little Caesar’s pizza shop and took … nothing more than a pizza. Surveillance video shows one thief holding open the drive-through window, as the other crawled in on his belly. But workers rushed to push him back out. Changing tactics, the two then entered through the front door, threatened workers with a knife, and made off with a $23 pizza order. “They did all that just for pizza?” a police source asked. Chances are, the evidence is long gone.

Shopping Snafu

Sunday morning shoppers in central Auckland, New Zealand, got more than an eyeful when, for several hours, pornography was broadcast on a large outdoor video screen at the Asics sportswear store. The offensive scenes were broadcast for nine hours — until staff arrived at the store at 10 am and turned the screen off. “Some people were shocked, but others just stopped and watched,” said security guard Dwayne Hinango. The store manager said the incident stemmed from a cybersecurity breach. Asics apologized on its website and through email to its customers.

This Team’s On Fire

The Tennessee Titans were all fired up for their NFL home opener. So was some of their pyrotechnic equipment, which caught fire during player introductions, spreading flames and thick, black smoke near one end zone. No one was hurt, and flames were extinguished quickly. But the NFL placed a ban on “all flame effects and pyrotechnics used on its playing fields” until an investigation can be completed.

Leaving The Toddlers With The Homeless Guys

Bozhena Synychka, 20, and Volodymyr Zaitsev, 25, just got “tired of looking after” their toddler boys, Andrey, 3, and Maksim, 2. So they dropped the boys off at a homeless encampment in Zaporizhia, Ukraine — and didn’t come back. The naked toddlers were watched over by men at the camp for a week as they drank from a river and foraged through trash for food, until passerby Olena Tashevska spotted them and called police. A pediatrician who examined them at the hospital said they suffered from viral infections and malnutrition. “They are weak now and barely can walk,” Dr. Taisa Klimenko told local media. Police are pursuing criminal charges against the parents.

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