At 700 pounds, 27-year-old Texan Monica Riley is the most recent “super-sized” woman to exhibit herself semi-nude for fans who watch as morbidly obese people eat. She told the celebrity news site Barcroft Media in September that her 8,000 calories a day puts her on track to weigh 1,000 pounds soon. She also said her loving boyfriend, Sid, 25, is a “feeder,” and is turned on by helping her gain weight. For instance, he feeds Monica her special 3,500-calorie shake through a funnel. He also offers to eagerly become her caretaker when she eats herself into total immobility.
What Goes Around, Comes Around
One of the Islamic State’s first reforms in captured territory has been to require adult women to dress devoutly. They must wear the face-covering burka robe, which, in Western democracies is seen as presenting security dilemmas because it hinders identification. Now, after two years of Islamic State occupation in Mosul, Iraq, the security problem has come full circle on ISIS. Dispatches from the town reported in September that ISIS has banned the burka because it hinders identification of anti-ISIS insurgents who wear burkas to sneak up on Islamic State officers.
Recurring Themes
— Political connections in some Latin American countries have allowed convicted drug dealers and crime bosses to serve their sentences comfortably. The most recent instance to make the news, from Agence France-Presse, was the presidential-suite-type “cell” occupied by Brazilian drug lord Jarvis Chimenes Pavao in Paraguay. When police (apparently not “politically connected”) raided the cell in July, they found a well-appointed apartment with semi-luxurious furniture settings (including a conference table for Pavao to conduct “business”), embellished wallpaper designs with built-in bookcases, a huge TV among the latest electronics, and even a handsome shoe rack holding Pavao’s footwear selection. Pavao also rented out part of the suite to other inmates for the equivalent of $5,000 plus $600 weekly rent.
— A middle-aged man was cited in three incidents in the Aberdeen, Scotland, area in August and September in which he approached women and asked them for piggyback rides. He is still at large.
Sounds Familiar
— Chris Atkins, of Denver, Colo., is among the men who judges have ruled owe child support even though DNA tests have proven that another man is the biological father of the child. Atkins is in the middle of a contentious child custody battle in which his estranged wife wants both custody and support payments. Since Atkins didn’t contest his fatherhood until the child reached age 11, he has lost legal standing.
— A high school girl and her parents told the Tallahassee Democrat in July that they were on the verge of filing a lawsuit demanding that the school district order the Leon High School cheerleader squad to select her — even though she had fallen twice during tryouts.
No Longer Weird
— Police in Centralia, Wash., arrested an unidentified man for reckless burning in August. As he was trying to rid his apartment of roaches, he declined ordinary aerosol bug spray in favor of making a homemade flamethrower — the aerosol spray fired up by a lighter. He fled the apartment when he realized he might have taken things too far. Firefighters were called, but the damage was minimal.
— Population grows; goods must be hauled; traffic congestion is worse; and thus trucks keep spilling their loads on the highways. The really weird spills have set the bar high. For example, there’s the truck spilling pornographic magazines, or the truck hauling ham colliding with the truck hauling eggs. In September, a tractor-trailer overturned on Interstate 295 in New Castle, Dela., and spilled 22 tons’ worth of U.S. pennies. These were even less useful than regular pennies, because they were not-yet-engraved blanks.
Trying To Prove She’s Alive And Well
Barbara Murphy, 64, of Roy, Utah, is the most recent person who has been declared dead and is battling the federal government to prove she is still alive. At present, she seems to be getting nowhere. She said Social Security Administration bureaucrats, citing protocols, have been tight-lipped about her problem. Her bank account was frozen. Social Security was dunning her for two years’ worth of Medicare premiums since her 2014 “death.” Warning letters about failure to pay have been sent to banks and credit agencies. Murphy told the Deseret News in August that, all in all, she feels pretty good despite being dead.
Updates
— Roy Pearson, a former District of Columbia administrative law judge, says he believes that his unsuccessful $54 million lawsuit against his dry cleaners was not frivolous. He claims he has not come to the end of his legal odyssey. In June, 2016, a D.C. Bar disciplinary committee recommended that Pearson be placed on probation for two years because of ethics violations, including having made statements that were “unsupported” by facts when he was defending his contention that the cleaners’ “satisfaction guaranteed” warranty made it liable for various negative events in Pearson’s life that took place following the loss of a pair of pants at the dry cleaners. No one is surprised that Pearson, now 65, has announced that he will challenge the committee’s recommendation.
— In Iceland, a road crew had inadvertently buried a rock that was thought to be an object enchanted by elves. Residents began to attribute all misfortunes in the area to the elves’ displeasure. According to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, crews were quickly ordered to re-set the rock. The incident was one more in a long series in which public and private funds in Iceland are routinely diverted toward projects thought to appease elves.
A News of the Weird Classic
Former Arkansas state legislator Charlie Fuqua ran again in 2012 after a 14-year absence from elective office. In the interim, reported the Arkansas Times, he wrote a book titled God’s Law: The Only Political Solution, in which he said that Christians could put their rebellious children to death as long as the proper procedure from Deuteronomy 21:18-21 was followed. “Even though this [procedure] would rarely be used,” Fuqua wrote, “if it were the law of the land … it would be a tremendous incentive for children to give proper respect to their parents.” Fuqua failed to gain his party’s nomination.
Insanity Defined
Police and prosecutors in Dallas are still sensitive about the city having been the site of the 1963 killing of President Kennedy. They may have taken out their shame on assassination buff Robert Groden. The Dallas Observer reported in September that Groden has been ticketed by police dozens of times for operating book sales booths near the “grassy knoll” — site of the alleged “second shooter” of the president. In spite of the many tickets, Groden prevails in court every single time — 82 times, so far. The Observer reports that police in Dallas find the term “grassy knoll” offensive, and do not like to hear people use it.
No Bugs In The Flour, Please
Master baker Stefan Fischer filed a lawsuit against Bakery of New York for wrongful firing because he refused to use bug-infested flour to make batches of bread. According to Fischer, when he informed management of the bugs in the facility’s 3,000-pound flour silo, he was simply told to make “multigrain” bread, which Fischer took to mean that fewer diners would complain if they heard crunching sounds while they were eating their bread.
The Continuing Crisis
Stephen Mader, 25, native of Weirton, W.V., and former Weirton police officer, is fighting to get his job back after being fired for not being quick enough on the trigger. When Ronald Williams, Jr., made a ham-handed attempt at “suicide by cop,” it was Mader who, rather than shooting, tried to talk Williams down. But when Williams pointed his unloaded gun at two of Mader’s colleagues, and one of them quickly shot the man to death, police officials fired Mader for having been insufficiently aggressive.
Can’t Possibly Be True
Few members of the U.S. forces in Afghanistan speak the native Pashto or Dari language, and the war prospects would be dim were it not for courageous Afghan civilians who aid the U.S. as interpreters under promise of protection and future emigration to the U.S. However, the congressional battle over immigration policy has delayed entry for 10,000 interpreters, who (along with their families) face imminent death if they remain in Afghanistan. Some in Congress also regard Afghans as riskier immigrants in spite of the fact that the interpreters have obviously demonstrated loyalty.
Leading Economic Indicators
— News Corporation Australia reported in September the enviable success of a 16-year-old British entrepreneur, Beau Jessup, who has earned $84,000 with a simple online app to help rich Chinese parents select prosperous-sounding English names for their babies. Users choose personality traits they hope their baby will have. They then receive three name suggestions. Jessup got the idea when she was living in China, and noticed that some babies of the rich were given such lame names as Gandalf and Cinderella.
— A total of 200 employees at a travel service in Shandong Province, China, were fined $6.50 each for failing to comply with orders to provided favorable comments on the general manager’s daily posts to the Internet site Sina Weibo.
— In June, a motivational trainer working with employees of the Changzhi Zhangze Rural Commercial Bank reportedly told the poorly performing personnel to “prepare to be beaten.” He then walked among the workers, whacking some with a stick, shaving the heads of the males and cutting the hair of the females.
Can’t Stop Myself
— The lifelong pickpocket Auntie Sato, 83, has spent nearly 30 years of her life behind bars. She was sentenced again for two years for purse-snatching from a traveler in Tokyo’s Ueno Station.
— While Faisal Shaikh was waiting for his cellphone theft case to be called at the Thane sessions court in Mumbai, India, he wandered up to the court stenographer’s desk and swiped her cellphone. He was apprehended shortly afterwards near the courthouse.
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