Ever notice dat when we have heavy rains here, folks who are flooded go to de police jury an jurors say flood control should be de top priority? Sometimes de media does its part in de game by sayin it’s time to get tings done. Den de flood waters go away, an so does de topic uf flood control; de media moves on to sometin else dey tink iz mo important. De fact remains dat lots uf buildins, both housin an bidnesses, are bein built at a record pace. An every time units are built, a concrete slab iz poured. An every time a slab iz poured, natural drainage iz stopped. We strongly urge de police jury to adopt a comprehensive set uf regulations for builders an developers to follow, with a huge penalty if day don’t. If we do this now, we won’t have de bigtime floodin problems Baton Rouge, Lafayette and Beaumont have right now. Quit de finger pointin an get tings done — an act now without waitin for de next rainy day.
Congressional Race Shapin Up
Az you’ve no doubt heard, our congressman, Charles Boustany, iz runnin for David Vitter’s senate seat. Vitter decided not to run for reelection to de U.S. Senate when he wuz boorayed bigtime by John John Edwards las year. A whole buncha folks have been rumored to be runnin for Boustany’s congressional seat. Uf dem dat have made it official so far, mo dan half sed day wuz votin for public service comissioner Scott Angelle from St. Martin Parish. Angelle, who ran third behind Edwards an Vitter for governor las year, should do well, since he still haz some uf dat name recognition from de governor’s race. All uf de announced candidates are Republicans, an polls shows dar numbers az follows: former state Rep. Brett Geymann at 8 percent; Lafayette oil bidness man Greg Ellison at 7 percent; Erick Knezek, a Lafayette Parish School Board member, at 6 percent; an Grover Rees, de former U.S. ambassador to East Timor (I don’t know where it iz, either) at 4 percent. Now, mind you, all uf dem fellers are Republicans. So you can bet your bottom dollar dat we are gonna see some Democrats jump in dar befo it’s over with. Wit a Democratic governor, you can bet de Democratic Party won’t let de Republicans have a free ride on dis one. De las candidate from dis area to make any kind uf dent in de pollin in dat race wuz Democrat Willie Mount. De fact iz dat de bulk uf de votes in dat district are in de Lafayette area, an dat makes it awfully hard for someone from dis area to win. Maybe dat will change wit reapportionment in 2020. But don’t hold your breath on dat one, since our congressman will probably be a Republican from Lafayette.
Democrats An Republicans
Gov. John John iz hintin dat he may call a special session to deal wit de state’s money problems. He’s also hinted he may call a constitutional convention. If you’re old enough, you remember when EWE called a convention in 1972. Dat’s de convention dat members an de media sed would change how health care and education wuz beat up durin every session uf de legislature. When de New Awlins boys had finished “doctoring” dat Constitution, we had mo education boads an mo beaureucrats in de medical care field. So don’t hold your breath. John John haz been blamin de Republicans a whole bunch lately. You recall he wuz de one claimin we had to tink Louisiana first. He’s also de one sendin out emails axin you to send him money to fight de evil Republicans. So not much haz changed from de Jindal days. But hopefully, both sides can come to an agreement soon to fix our money problems.
Approved Vs. Permitted
KPLC carried a news story regardin jus how far apart de numbers are on de number uf RV units dat have been approved, az opposed to dem what’s been permitted. Wes Crain with de Police Jury sed 1,400 have been approved by de Police Jury, yet only 134 have been permitted. Az it goes now, de groups wantin to put up RV parks an man camps go to de zonin board, which either OKs or denies de request for a zonin change. Den de Police Jury votes yes or no. Crain sez de parish iz far from reachin de numbers for permittin both de RV centers and de man camps. Meantime, lots uf folks are none too happy with dar police jurors for approving zonin changes. An so it goes.
Edwards Reviewin LSU Board Candidates
Four uf de 15 members uf de LSU Board uf Supervisors are up for re-appointment. Dem dat have terms expirin are Hank Danos, Ray Lasseigne, Stephen Perry an de Lake Area’s own Jack Lawton. Here’s whare de politics uf de great state uf Louisiana really shines, folks. You can bet dat even though John John haz preached no politics in pickin de best folks for jobs, dem four are gone, an he will replace dem with loyal Democrats. Bobby Jindal certainly loaded de board wit Republicans, but he didn’t sing dis bipartisan song, either. You can bet dat Democratic legislators are being “worked” for dem appointments, an day are in turn working John John. Politics in education in our state — you gotta be kiddin.
Lobbyist David Vitter?
Usually, when a congressman or senator chooses not to run again or gets beat, hiz next address iz K Street in Washington, D.C. Now, K Street iz jus loaded with law firms, but what day really are iz lobbyists. Billy Tauzin, John Breaux, Jimmy Hayes an many udders who have represented our state are now convincin members uf congress to dar way uf thinkin. An rumor haz it dat David Vitter iz already bein recruited for a lobbyist position az soon az he gets out uf de Senate. Federal law keeps him from doin that for two years after he walks away. But leave it to congressmen to snake dar way around de law. He would work az a consultant for two years, an den become a lobbyist. An you wonder why folks like Trump an Sanders are doin so well. Folks are pretty much fed up with congressional shenanigans.
Guns Outta Control
De New Awlins newspaper iz doin a series uf stories on how de theft uf guns iz fuelin de murder and violent crime rate in de Big Easy. It iz pointed out dat dar wuz 164 murders in de New Awlins metro area last year; 90-plus percent uf dem wuz by gunfire. Dat’s not to mention de hundreds who wuz wounded an disabled by gunfire. Police say stolen guns are responsible for a large majority uf dis gun violence. Some 2,500 guns wuz reported stolen in 2015. It should also be noted dat in Chicago, which haz strict gun laws, day figure 60 percent uf all gun violence came from stolen guns from out uf state. In New Awlins, in de month uf April alone, 436 handguns wuz stolen, compared to only 28 rifles, 26 shotguns and eight assault rifles. Now, folks, dis problem ain’t just in New Awlins. Talk to ATF an State Police folks, an dey will tell you dat gun runners are all over our interstate, movin hot pistols dat are used in a crime only once, den trown away. Tings to do wit your firearms: 1) Lock unloaded with ammo in a separate location in your home; 2) take a picture uf de gun, and write down de serial number; 3) if you have a gun in your car or truck, carry it unloaded and stored in a lock box or safe dat’s attached to de seat by steel cable. All uf dese tips will keep crooks from gettin your gun, which iz what day want. Me, I tink day should have a gun safety course for everyone who owns a gun. Dar are too many folks bein shot accidentally. Dis New Awlins ting iz certainly soberin, an we should all pay some real attention when we go down dar for Saints games or udder events.
Way To Go, Team!
Congratulations to de McNeese softball team for makin de big dance. At press time, de Cowgirls iz scheduled to play Arizona State in de Baton Rouge regionals. De Cowgirls finished de regular season 42-12. But dat ain’t all. Congratulations also go out to Barbe on winnin dar third straight 5-A state championship. Also, kudos to Fairview in class B. Congrats to St. Louis Catholic, who made it to de quarterfinals, and South Beauregard, who made it to de championship game. Our hats should go off to Sulphur Parks and Recreation and de Convention and Visitors Bureau for doin anudder bang-up job hostin de championships. De LHSAA will vote later dis year on who will get to host de baseball an basketball tournaments for de next two years. We know our folks here will work hard to get de winnin bid.
Deep Taughts While Watchin Jacques Pepin
10) How can people actually eat squid?
9) An LSU poll sez folks would vote for mo taxes for roads and education. Can you say cooyon?
8) Iz de political football game wit Moss Memorial over?
7) Iz it OK for T-Claude to start plantin marijuana?
6) How come Max always heads outta town when it’s his turn to buy?
5) I’m wearin Blue and Gold on Friday, May 20. Are you?
4) Will de Astros trade for better pitchin?
3) Will John John call a special session?
2) Wuzn’t dat a good picture uf Mark Abraham and Stephen Dwight in de paper?
1) Who stole my chicken salad outta my fridge?
Final Shot
Lefty sez he’s vacationin in Ville Platte dis summer, cause dar ain’t no law dar. Wanna bet, Lefty? ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.
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