The Annual Report is the best issue of Lagniappe published during the course of the year. Freelancers, correspondents and downright experts analyze the area’s major economic and cultural trends of the last year and the year to come. If you want to know what’s really going on here behind the scenes and beneath the surface, the Annual Report is the ultimate source. Case in point: in this year’s edition, we ran a chapter on marshland ecology from the new book Chenier Plain by Richard B. Crowell. My review of the book can be found beginning on page 74 of this issue of Lagniappe. Crowell manages to tell the history of the geographically unique Chenier Plains with smooth language that’s easy to read. In the book, you can quickly learn how Acadians used their boat-building skills and the plains’ waterways to create the vibrant duck hunting culture that marks the area. With Norman German’s short story collection Dead Dog Lying of 2015, that’s two good reads related to this area in two years. SWLA has long been on a roll with strong writing. Of course there are the Pulitzer Prizes won by McNeese alums Adam Johnson (The Orphan Master’s Son, 2013) and Robert Owen Butler (Scent from a Strange Mountain, 1993). Johnson also won the National Book Award in 2015 for his short story collection Fortune Smiles. Other McNeese alums — Morrie Creech and Kevin Meaux — won Poetry Magazine’s Ruth Lilly Fellowship in 1997 and 1999. As for writers born in Lake Charles, the late Andre Dubus won the first PEN New England Award in 1975, and Nick Pizzolatto’s 2014 screenplay for True Detective is the best piece of writing on existentialism since Albert Camus’ much harder to understand Myth of Sisyphus. So, while the Lake Area may be a little shaky in some areas, it’s no slacker in the writing category. And that’s the end of today’s class.
Timeless Beauty
In the 1960s, Leonard Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms was a cult favorite among classical music lovers who were put off by the 12-tone music that dominated music at the time. (The 12-tone method gave equal importance to every note in the octave. Some people liked the music that resulted, but many found it “ugly” or “noisy.”) Bernstein’s trademark lyricism was always the polar opposite of ugly. And he avoided the heaviness some find in operatic singing by using a boys’ choir to do the singing in Chichester Psalms. Many found the “Adonai ro-i” section of the Psalms a deeply moving example of transcendent musical lyricism. The Psalms also have snippets of Bernstein’s strain of American jazz, which is potent enough to keep people whistling parts of Westside Story and On The Town 70 years on. If you’re willing to take a short drive, you can hear the piece live. The Chichester Psalms will be part of the Symphony of Southeast Texas concert on Saturday, April 16, 7:30 pm, at the Julie Rogers Theatre at 765 Pearl St. in Beaumont, Texas. Some listeners may also be attracted to Sergei Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Major. Prokofiev’s piano concertos have always been of interest because they demand virtuoso performances. Pianists have to play big, complex chords and super-elaborate series of notes — often at a brisk pace that requires almost super-human performance. For this concert, the guest pianist will be Sean Chen, who was winner of the Crystal Award at the Van Cliburn Piano Competition in 2013. Works by Shostakovich and Borodin will round out the concert. Tickets are $18-45; senior, student and group discounts are available. To learn more, visit sost.org or call 409-892-2257.
Boustany Goes Pit Bull
You’ve probably seen somewhere or other that the Obama administration may be imposing new guidelines that would hinder the drilling of offshore wells south of the Louisiana coast. Although I’m far from an expert on these complicated matters, I think the new measures may require energy companies to buy more costly bonds to cover the liability on new offshore wells. One issue, obviously, is whether such measures could have a negative effect on the financial status of Louisiana coastal areas. Because of the boom, the L.C. and Sulphur economies should stay strong. Things could be different for parts of the rest of the coast. In the immediate area, the most interesting aspect of all this is the fact that Rep. Charles Boustany is going after the new regs like a pit bull. And he loses no chance mentioning Obama’s name when he does so. It’s easy to get on Boustany’s email list. Just go to boustany.house.gov. A form for the email will pop right up. You type in your first name, email address, add a couple of carriage returns and you’re done. Of course, you don’t have to support Boustany (who’s running for the U.S. Senate) or like his stands to get his emails. Still, you might enjoy getting them anyway as he seems to be well-informed on current La. affairs. At any rate, he will certainly keep you up to speed on developments related to drilling in the Gulf.
Oldie But Goodie
This story’s about a month old. But just because it isn’t new doesn’t mean it’s not a good story. On March 9, every school in Calcasieu Parish was closed. Why? The forecast called for rain. McNeese State University closed also. Well, why not? Never let it be said that the love of higher learning interfered with a chance to take a day off work. Boy, oh boy oh boy have things changed! I went all the way from first through 12th grade without ever getting one day off for rain. And believe me, if I had gotten a day off for rain (or heat or any other weather condition), I wouldn’t have objected in the least. To return to 2016, on March 9, I saw not one drop of rain during the entire school day. I didn’t notice any school children caught up in the wind, flying around in circles like leaves. But then again, I was inside — working — most of the day. At any rate, for children, it was a nice holiday. For single working mothers — not so much. On the bone dry afternoon of March 9, the public and private schools of Calcasieu Parish announced they would open the next day. Why? Rain was forecast for that day, also. My guess is that those few who showed up to work at parish school buildings on March 9 spent the entire day fielding calls that went something like this: “I haven’t seen a ——- drop of rain all day. I missed a ——- pay day today because your ——- school was closed. My boy better be in your —– school tomorrow. If he’s not, I’m going to really get mad.” All these phone calls could have been avoided with a little level-headed, reasonable and — above all — adult foresight. If there’s going to continue to be education in Calcasieu Parish — and I emphasize the “if” — perhaps teachers could devote a class or two to the topic of why people in other places want to work 40 hours a week every week — even when there’s rain in the forecast.
No Puritans In China
One day, when I was in the office rest room, I noticed a little bottle whose label read “Doody Free.” Closer examination revealed that the product was a “Before-You-Go Bathroom Spray” made by a company called “Poo-Pourri.” “Doody Free.” “Poo-Pourri.” It was one more hilarious example of the way in which Puritans can take their horror of the human body and its functions and turn that neurotic queasiness into something that’s vulgar. In this case, in the Puritan world view, vulgar language trumped human odors. Go to the Poo-Pourri web site and you can spend the better part of an afternoon laughing at the Puritanical brand of humor. Some of it’s really funny. In spite of common stereotypes, just because you’re a Puritan doesn’t mean you’re not funny. Want some evidence? Here’s a question from the company’s web site: Does Poo-Pourri work? “The proof is in the poopin’.” We learn Poo-Pourri has nothing synthetic; it’s “all stink-fightin’ good stuff.” Customers can buy a “Getting To Know Poo” package of products. This includes a spray called “Royal Flush.” And Puritanical though it may be, there is some language on this site I can’t quote in this magazine. No joke. The site includes a little essay by the maker of Poo-Pourri products, a young woman called only “Suzy.” I think she misses the irony in her statement “I’m obsessed with all things natural.” (She’s referring to the natural ingredients in her products.) She says Poo-Pourri is a “solution” to a “universal problem: poop happens, and it stinks!” It is true that the process of elimination is universal, and it can become a problem if sanitation is grossly inadequate. But its odor is only a problem for a certain type of person. I hoped against hope that this product was made in Southwest Louisiana. But we can’t blame this one on the Lake Area. Poo-Pourri is made in Addison, Texas, a town located north of Dallas. I’ve heard Dallas called a “cattle town.” If people there find “poop smells” a “universal problem,” they must have cognitive dissonance as big as all of Texas. I’m so happy I clicked the link to Poo-Pourri’s mission statement. Part of the statement read: “Let’s face it. The ability to extinguish nasty poop smells (even if it is just your own) is a power we all wish we had.” No. Let’s face it: only Puritans give a damn about “poop smells.” I never have and never will. I remember an occasion when I dined with a sociologist in a Chinese restaurant in Chicago. I observed that it seemed to me that restrooms in Chinese restaurants were always dirty. He said, “Well, there are no Puritans in China.”
The News
“We Analyzed Every Second of the New Game of Thrones Season 6 Trailer” — Time, March 9 “Tomato soup + grilled cheese = a delightful lunch” — The New York Times, March 15 “What Daredevil Got Right That The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones Got Wrong” — Vanity Fair, March 22
The Funnies
“The police don’t need any bloody extra powers. That’s like putting a spear on the end of a cruise missile … [With Neighborhood Watch], people have been getting carried away, man. They’ve been arresting themselves, beating themselves up, and then denying it the next day … “[My car has] imitation leopard-skin seats. Those imitation leopards are a bugger to catch, guy … [I was driving home] checking out my compact disc player. I’m not actually listening to anything, because by the time I cut all my albums up to fit in the slot, they’re ruined … [A policeman pulled me over.] He put his head through the window, which worried me, because it was still wound up at the time. He said, ‘Are you the driver of this vehicle?’ I said, ‘Well, it’s automatic, but I have to be here.’ He said, ‘Can you identify yourself?’ I looked in the mirror. I said, ‘Yep, that’s me …’” — British stand-up comedian Lenny Henry on being pulled over by a British police officer; at The Secret Policeman’s Third Ball, London Palladium, 1987.
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