Dar’s a mobile home commercial dat’s been runnin’ on a Lafayette TV stations for years. It’s de one dat always ends de same … “When you go to Jim Tatman’s Mobile Homes, they gotcha.” Well, dat’s pretty much de ways it iz wit folks dat say day don’t care about politics an politicians. No matter how you try to block dem out, sooner or later … day gotcha. You get on de internet, an sooner or later dar’s a pop-up for de Democrat or Republican runnin in local elections. Block dat out, an party messages will pop up an … day gotcha. So you decide you not gonna fool wit de computer no mo an you go to your TV. Dar are tons of ads in every break: some claimin dis guy iz a crook an dar candidate iz a golden boy. Once again, day gotcha. You decide you ain’t gonna watch no mo TV an you turn on de radio. Again, every break dar’s some guy or some group tellin you how to vote. An once again, day gotcha. You wonder if you should be readin more, so you head to your mailbox. An when you open it, dar are tons uf political flyers. Once again, day gotcha. So you decide to take a ride on one uf dem fine spring days like we been havin. An at every traffic light dar are more political messages on billboards. An once again, day gotcha. So you’ve had enough an decide to head to Toledo Bend to get away from it all. You enjoyin de quiet away from all de political messages when suddenly a plane flies overhead an it’s got a message to vote for a certain candidate. An once again, day gotcha. Now, we are havin a little pause from political ads for a while. But you can bet wit dat hot U.S. Senate race we gonna have in de fall, we gonna start havin political ads an mailers pretty soon. An when you see one uf dem ads — jus remember day gotcha!
Edwards Comin Afta Charter Schools
It’s no secret dat public school teachers don’t really care for charter schools an voucher programs. I mean, after all, both iz a direct shot at public schools an public school teachers. An since Gov. John Bel Edwards iz married to a public school teacher an had de support uf teacher groups in our state, it’s no surprise he would try to do away wit charter schools an de voucher system. Dar are several bills makin dar way trew de Legislature right now dat would severely weaken both an dat’s a shame. De charter schools in our area are doin a very good job uf educatin our kids. Henry Mancuso haz made an effort to make shore dat every kid who goes to one uf our charter schools gets de best education possible. But Edwards an hiz anti-charter group appear dead set on doin away wit de charter system an voucher program. Only time will tell if day will succeed. It should be noted dat charter schools are big in New Awlins. I’m shore some uf dem folks are gonna remind Mr. Edwards day voted for him.
New Name, Same Game
For mo years dan most uf us would like to recall, Moss Regional Hospital wuz a place for de poor an needy to go for medical attention. In de Jindal years, a new system wuz put into effect an de name wuz changed to W.O. Moss Memorial. But now, Gov. Edwards haz set hiz eyes on hittin dem what can’t defend demselves in Baton Rouge an haz threatened to close what is now called W.O. Moss Memorial. De mouthpieces for Edwards say de poor an needy will be able to get care at L.C. Memorial an udder area hospitals. An de closure will probably happen … because, you see, de poor an needy don’t have a lobbyist like udder groups do. An wit nobody speakin for dem before committees in Baton Rouge, de will uf de governor an hiz floor leaders iz what wins. Now dar are some dat say Edwards iz much mo better dan Jindal. Well, Jindal never shut down Moss Memorial. An we can tell you de folks dat are gonna be hurt by de closin uf Moss will remember dat in a few years when Edwards comes around tellin us what a great job he did for de poor an needy in Southwest Louisiana.
Tax Hike Kicks In
On April 1, de additional penny uf sales tax kicked in, givin our state de highest sales tax in de country. An if we had sometin to show for de tax dat wuz collected befo an de additional tax dat will be collected, dat would be anudder ting. But all we’ve seen iz like de ole Tennessee Ernie Ford song … “What do ya get? Deeper in debt.” Now T Claude sez a penny won’t hurt nobody. Dat’s true, until you go to buy a car or udder big ticket item. But besides dat, dar’s de idea dat de state gubment iz tellin you day know better dan you what to do wit your money. An on top uf dat, de Dept. uf Revenue haz de nerve to buy a full-page ad in newspapers across our state, tellin you how much uf a tax hike went into effect de first uf de year. De list iz as long az de fly rod I use for bream. An if it wuz just sales tax, dat would be one ting. But we have every kinda tax you can tink uf: gamblin tax, gasoline tax, sewage tax … de list goes on an on. It’s gotta stop.
DOTD Pullin Numbers Outta Dar Hat
At dis writin, de feds haven’t completed assesssin damages to property in our state from recent floodin. But already, we see de DOTD haz pulled a number outta dar derriere, claimin dat de floodin haz caused $20 million uf damage to de roads in our state. Now, we can tell you what scenario iz gonna follow dis one. De DOTD will get de $20 mil from de federal gubment, den day will run to de Legislature after day’ve spunt dat amount, an claim day underestimated de damage an need mo money from de state. An de legislators will give it to dem because day don’t wanna be called anti-highways. In udder words, same song, second verse.
Heroin Use A Big Concern
From time to time, we’ve mentioned de increased number uf arrests for heroin use in Southwest Louisiana. Now, a recent article in de Southwest Daily News uf Sulphur pointed out dat de use uf de drug once associated only wit big cities like New York and Chicago iz now very much a part uf de drug scene in our area. Illegal use uf heroin with fentanyl is also increasin in our area. Last year, 700 people died from dat combo in our country; 100 in Baton Rouge and N.O. died from it. Cops tell me heroin is now cheaper dan udder drugs, an dat’s one uf de reasons for de increase in usage. A lot uf de heroin in our area comes from Texas: Houston an Beaumont. In fact, Beaumont iz reportin a large increase in heroin arrests. What can you do about it? Watch our children and de kids day hang out with an report any use you see. Dis iz dangerous stuff.
Let’s Fix De Street
In just a few short weeks, high school baseball teams from trewout de state will be comin to McMurry Park in Sulphur for state championship games. An comin wit dem will be parents, grandparents, brudders an sisters an aunts an uncles. De way to get to McMurry Park — de finest high school ballpark in de state — iz to go down Maplewood Drive an den South Hazel all de way to de end. Now, South Hazel looks like sometin you’d see in de jungles uf Africa. An dat’s de impression lots uf folks leave Sulphur wit after travelin dat horrible street. It’s time for de City uf Sulphur to overlay, an not just fix potholes. Come on, Sulphur. Show a little pride.
Deep Taughts While Eating Gumbo At KD’s
10) Are de Astros gonna have az good a season az last year?
9) Will de Cowboys’ baseball an softball teams continue to win?
8) Where’s dem basin crawfish T Claude keeps promisin me?
7) Why does March Madness stretch into April?
6) Why does T Claude’s grandson Stubby keep gettin stopped by de law for “doin nuttin”?
5) Iz LSU’s baseball team startin to turn it around?
4) Why does my wife Sedonia blame me for all de dirt my dog brings into de house?
3) Since my franz are free to go to Cuba now, will I be gettin mo Cuban ceegars?
2) How iz Contraband Days gonna top last year’s great festival?
1) Should I just kiss dat 40 bucks my brudda-in-law owes me good-bye?
Final Shot
I axed my fran Lefty if he wuz plannin to go to Contraband Days dis year. He sed he went las year an got into a little confrontation wit law enforcement when de band wouldn’t let him sing wit dem. So he sez dis year he’s gonna enjoy sometin mo peaceful, like Banners. Dat Lefty iz really gettin mellow in hiz old age. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.
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