Floodin all over de place an legislators fightin’ to avoid bankruptcy — it’s remindin many uf de old folks an historians uf 1927. Levees up de Mississippi broke and spring waters flooded most of de South. Farmers went broke — an den de Great Depression set in.
But our great state rose up afta de Great Flood an de Great Depression and day iz gonna do it again.
Now it’s a different situation in dat de federal gubment iz ready to trow money to flood survivors to help dem get back on dar feet — like de $2,000 everyone got afta Rita.
De heavy floodin in nort Louisiana an to our west along de Sabine River has caused concern for all uf us. KPLC ran stories about lootin’ in de Starks an’ de Merryville area. Now me, I got one ting to say to folks who steal from udders in times like dis, an dat’s … 9mm wit a long clip. Looters are de lowest form uf human beins on de face uf de earth, an despite law enforcement bein on patrol, folks are tryin to figger out how to rip off what poor flood victims have been forced to leave behind. Round ‘em up, lock ‘em up, an trow away de keys.
As For De Legislature …
Day finished de 15-day special session an did some expense-cutting an tax-raisin, but day got a long way to go. So de regular session haz started, wit de budget still millions uf dollars out uf whack.
Wall Streeters have lowered de state’s credit rating, and some colleges are in danger of no longer being accredited. Now we ax — what iz it about being broke de legislators don’t understand?
Max an Slim an my good fran Tomas did a little visit at Chastain’s. Uf course, de main topic uf discussion wuz de Legislature. I reminded de group about when Dave Treen wuz governor an called a special session uf de Legislature to decide what to do wit all de money dat had accumulated from state oil an gas revenue. Yep … de Legislature wuz flooded wit money, an now day is on de street wit dark glasses an cans. How times have changed.
To de younger generation we say … see what happens when you spend it like dar ain’t no tomorrow?
Some Taxes An Cuts Passed Durin’ Special Session
• 1 cent sales tax to raise $883 million a year
• Increase in cigarette tax to raise $46 million a year
• Increase in liquor tax to raise $19 million a year
Dar wuz also a whole buncha measures whose effect will be uncertain, like collectin’ taxes on internet sales an room taxes. Dat’s where we are for now … we tink.
Way To Go, Tony
We’re all happy to see Calcasieu Police Juror Tony Guillory haz been named president uf de Louisiana Police Jury Black Caucus. Now, in dis position, Tony will be able to get more state and federal funds for key projects in our state. Congratulations, Tony. We know you’ll do a fantastic job.
Way To Go, Indians And Saints
De Washington Marion Indians an St. Louis Saints did our area proud wit dar showins in de Top 28 state championships at de Burton Complex. Both teams played really well, an were just on de short end uf really tight games.
Once again, de Southwest Convention & Visitors Bureau did a great job uf puttin dis event on.
Scott Runnin Again
We read in de Baton Rouge paper about Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, who iz fresh off a governor’s race whar he finished third; he’s now runnin for Congress for de third district — de seat now helt by Charles Boustany, who’s now runnin for de U.S. Senate.
Brett Geymann, former state rep from Moss Bluff, iz also in de race.
Dis will be Angelle’s second campaign within a year while serving as Public Service Commissioner. So much for “service.” Can you say “career politician”?
Sulphur Mines Fest Made A Mistake
De Sulphur Mines Festival canceled its recently scheduled event because uf de threat uf rain. Day refused to move de event to de West Cal Event Center.
De event provided lots uf covered areas an lots uf free parkin. Now dem Sulphur Mines folks an udder folks who have events at Heritage Square might want to start tinkin about de fact dat lots uf folks are gettin de choo rouge about folks parkin on dar property an leavin ruts dat you could hide a Volkswagen in.
Our political folks worked real hard to get dat event center built. It’s time for local folks to start usin it.
Just Movin’ On
Wit Sasol announcin a delay in some uf its projects recently, folks in our area are a bit concerned about dat an about udder projects in our area. But at least one project iz goin full speed ahead, an dat’s Magnolia LNG.
De concern iz because de price uf gaz haz dropped, an’ some claim dat makes liquid natural gas less desirable. But Maurice Brand, de CEO uf Magnolia, iz movin on az planned. It should be noted dat de price uf oil iz movin back up slowly but surely. An you can bet it will shoot up dis summer when travelers get on de road.
So don’t listen to all dem what’s claim de sky iz fallin. LNG bidness in our area iz alive an well.
Spring Sports In Full Swing
De McNeese baseball an softball teams are off to a great start. De baseball team beat nationally ranked U.L.-L recently, an de girls’ softball team beat Baylor.
In addition, area high school teams are among de best in de state. In fact, two uf de best — Barbe an Sulphur — will be on CST TV later dis mont on a statewide broadcast.
Go out an support your favorite team. An if it’s McNeese, be sure to wear your gold and blue.
Shut ‘Em Down
Dar iz now questions about whedder we have too many colleges in our state; colleges right near each udder dat are teachin’ de same ting wit’ very few students in de class. Dat’s simply a duplication uf services at a huge cost to taxpayers.
Take LSU-Alexandria, for example. It should have never been built, an should have never expanded to a four-year school. But state Rep Charlie Dewitt got den-Gov. Blanco to OK it, an now we have a four-year school in Alexandria … just a few short miles from LSU in Eunice … an Northwestern in Natchitoches an La. Tech in Ruston an UL-L in Lafayette.
Now, we know dar’s lots uf politics in dem schools bein built an expanded. But we have to stop dis bidness uf a school on every street corner. We need to consolidate so dat dese schools teach junior and senior level courses to full classes, an not just two or tree students. Cut out de politics; make colleges more efficient.
Edwards Visits Flood Area
We wuz glad to see Gov. Jon Bel Edwards visitin’ de flooded area uf our state recently.
Durin’ de campaign for de highest office, he wuz here every week. We’re glad to see he has not forgotten us.
Some uf de previous governors an U.S. senators, like Mike Foster an’ Mary Landrieu, forgot about dis area afta day wuz elected. We hope dis visit marks a trend for Edwards.
Deep Taughts While Attendin De Rabbit Festival
10) Iz Ben Simmons gonna stay anudder year at LSU?
9) Will Tony Guillory buy me de lunch he owes me or iz he too much a big shot now?
8) After taxes, will I have enough to buy a burger an fries dis month?
7) When will Herb at KD’s buy me a good ceegar?
6) When will T-Claude understand dat Wild Turkey season ain’t about goin afta sometin dat’s 100 proof?
5) Ain’t de Trump campaign better dan WWF?
4) How can Max promise me dinner at Joe’s an drop me at de last minute?
3) Why iz it dat when I get in my car afta Sedonia haz driven it dat de tank’s always empty?
2) Who else iz gonna jump in de race for de District 3 congressional seat?
1) When we gonna have a porch party at Jim’s house???
Final Shot
I axed Lefty if he wuz gettin hiz dancing shoes ready for Contraband Days … He sed he didn’t wear shoes when he danced. Dat Lefty, he’s such a fashion guru.
‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.
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