ENOUGH ALREADY

Me, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired uf de news media quoting numbers from dis Louisiana Good Roads and Transportation Assoc. an acceptin’ dem az de divine truth.

Dis group iz made up uf former DOTD folks and contractors. Dar president, Kenneth Perret, spoke to de Baton Rouge Press Club recently, and trew out figure after figure. But in de end, he wuz predictin’ hell an’ high water if de folks uf our great state don’t OK a 10-cent-a-gallon increase in gaz tax.

Now we are already payin’ 38.4 cents a gallon. But dat ain’t enough accordin’ to Perret. An de media — both local an’ state — accept hiz numbers az gospel.

Well, me, I say if we ain’t got de money to build roads, why do we have all dem folks in de DOTD? When you look at de make-up uf dis Louisiana Good Roads and Transportation Assoc., you see dat it’s all folks who would benefit big-time from dis tax increase. Certainly we didn’t expect Perret to say dat our roads are fine an’ dar iz no need for dis organization any mo.

Az motorists, we are already heavily taxed wit’ de highest car insurance rates in de country an’ de Legislature just increased de fees for licenses and tags. But dat’s still not enough for dem “greedy Gusses,” az Huey Long would call dem.

If we, de voters uf dis state, accept dis good roads group’s numbers az gospel an’ vote for de 10 cent a gallon increase, dat will be far from de end. Me, I can assure you dat in jus’ a few years, dis group iz gonna be back wit’ anudder PowerPoint wit’ numbers showin’ how inflation haz eaten up de 10-cent increase an’ dat we need mo money.

So before you swallow dem “good roads group” numbers, remember de make-up uf dat group an’ look at dar PowerPoint numbers real carefully.

Lookin’ In De Crystal Ball

It’s no big secret dat our Congressman Charles Boustany iz plannin’ on runnin’ for de U.S. Senate should David Vitter get elected governor uf our great state. Dat would open up de congressional seat.

Already we have heard uf two people dat are planning to run for dat seat. One iz Brett Geymann — now one ur our area legislators who will be termed out uf office come January. He haz a whole buncha support from de Tea Party, an’ hiz stand on de Common Core issue haz certainly gotten him support.

De udder iz current city uf Lafayette Mayor/President Joey Durel. Now Durel haz lots uf clout, but so does Geymann.

Rest assured dat if Vitter wins an’ Boustany runs, you gonna see a whole lot mo jump in dis race. T Claude, him, sez he’s tinkin’ uf bein’ de candidate uf de Crawfish Party.

It’s Closer Dan You Might Tink

Me an’ my wife Sedonia went to de Arts an’ Crabs celebration at Burton Coliseum recently an’ saw a few candidates shakin’ hands and visitin’. It reminded me dat de elections will be here real soon. Qualifyin’ is Sept. 8-10, an’ de first primary iz Oct. 24.

At dis Arts an Crabs get togedder, we saw Dr. Keith DeSonier in hiz bright red T shirt chatting with everyone. Some police jury candidates wuz also on hand for de event.

DeSonier iz runnin against Mark Abraham for de District 36 state representative seat dat’s now helt by House Speaker Chuck Kleckley. Kleckley iz term-limited too az uf January.

Now Abraham ran against Blade Morrish for state senator a few years ago an’ Morrish won. Before dat, he served on de Lake Charles City Council. We would tink dis would be hiz last hoorah if he loses.

Dis will be de bes’ race uf de fall in our area. De Geymann seat will also be open, but we have seen no one udder dan Stephen Dwight runnin’ for dat one. An’ anyone tinkin’ uf runnin’ had to change dar mind afta seein’ de crowd he drew wit a crawfish boil/fundraiser  he trew a few monts ago. Ain’t nuttin’ like a free ride.

How Day Pollin’

Ax anybody runnin for political office if day have taken any polls an’ day will tell you dat de only one dat matters iz de one on election day. Although dis iz true, you can rest assured candidates and elected officials alike study polls carefully. Elected officials wanna know what folks tink, an’ candidates wanna know how day are doin’ versus de udder candidates.

Dat sed, we sawed de mos’ recent poll by Hayride/Marble Port, which haz been pollin’ every udder month since March. Me, I like dis kinda poll because it shows a trend radder dan a snapshot.

De latest shows Vitter an’ John Bel Edwards in a dead heat an’ headed for a run-off. Scott Angelle and Jay Dardenne are neck an’ neck for third. Like in a horse race, third place don’t count for much.

Had a long chat wit’ a longtime strong Republican recently about dis race. We agreed dat if Vitter makes de runoff wit anudder Republican, he iz beat. We also agree dat Edwards will likely get lots uf national Democratic Party money should he make de run-off wit’ a Republican. Dem Democrats in Washington would love to get a governor’s seat in our state. Likewise de Republicans would spend money to try to hold on to de governor’s office.

We both agreed dat Edwards ain’t gonna move up or down from dat 30 percent. So de message to Angelle and Dardenne iz to go afta dat Vitter crowd in order to make de run-off.

Now, we remind you dat dem polls are taken by phone. An’ considerin’ a whole buncha folks don’t have land lines any mo, dem poll numbers may be a little fuzzy.

LSU Poll Tells Us What We Already Knew

De results uf dis poll came az no surprise. Some 1,000 folks were polled about de upcoming governor’s race. An only 60 percent had any kinda interest in it. Only 29 percent sed day wuz closely watchin’ it.

Now one ting iz clear about dis group dat wuz polled. Day don’t like de direction our state gubment iz headed. Sixty-two percent uf de registered voters in dis survey sed they didn’t like how our state officials wuz runnin’ tings.

Wonder how many in dis poll were Tea Party members. De pollsters didn’t ax dat question.

MSU-LSU Ticket Sales A Big Disappointment

We wuz sad to learn dat de McNeese Athletic department had to return 2,700 uf de 6,000 tickets allotted to de school for de Cowboy-LSU Tiger game on Sept. 5.

Jim Gazzolo wrote in de American Press dat dar a lot uf reasons for de poor ticket sales. First, de game iz gonna be on de LSU Network. Also, you talkin’ about a long trip an’ de fact dat dem 6,000 seats wuz what iz commonly known az “nose bleed.”

In any case, we are sad to hear uf de poor ticket sales an’ hope it doesn’t reflect how de crowds are gonna be before de MSU home games. Now everyone can do sometin’ about dat. Wear blue and gold on Fridays durin’ football season. Buy tickets and GO TO DE GAME. Invite friends to go with you. Show your McNeese pride.

Ya Gotta Be Kiddin’

Some uf dem newspaper columnists from up north really don’t tink very highly uf us folks in de south. Some have never left de city where day are located, but day are experts on everyting an’ write some pretty insultin’ tings about udders.

Take for example Kristen McQueary uf de Chicago Tribune, who wrote recently dat her city needed sometin’ like Katrina in New Awlins so de city could clean up an’ start from scratch. We would guess dat if Ms. McQueary had come to de Big Easy an’ seen de body bags stacked up after Katrina, or taken a ride wit’ us to Cameron afta Rita, she would have a different picture uf tings an’ would not have written such an insultin’ column.

Now, de paper did carry a retraction. But de damage an de insults wuz done already. Had someone from a Louisiana paper written such nasty tings about Chicago, dar folks would have screamed bloody murder — which iz a pretty common ting in de Windy City.

Deep Taughts While Watchin’ De Saints On KPLC

10) Are de Saints gonna fix dar defense before de season starts?

9) How can T-Claude possibly tink I’m gonna give him $600 for a coon hound?

8) How many police jurors gonna have opponents in October?

7) Ain’t it great dat de Astros are keepin’ ahead uf de Anaheim Angels?

6) Iz Les Miles gonna play musical chairs at quarterback again dis year?

5) What are they gonna do wit dem 700 wild horses at Fort Polk?

4) Ain’t it great dat Coach Vince from Barbe iz goin’ overseas to coach dis summer?

3) Why do they call it Sunday Night Football if day got games on Thursday night?

2) When iz Amp gonna give me dem Cuban ceegars he promised me?

1) How come Sedonia don’t want me to have a coon hound?

Final Shot

Lefty went to Iowa for a big euchre tournament dat wuz goin’ on while all dem political candidates wuz in town for de party caucuses. I axed him how he did at de tournament. He sed he didn’t even see a Trump. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate.