Dear Dr. Archer,
About two weeks ago something strange began. I used a public restroom in a local chain restaurant. Whatever cleaner they used reminded me of the odor of vomit and it made me physically sick. Since that day, every time I go to a restroom, or even think about a restroom, I get nauseated. It’s not so bad in my own home, but in every other bathroom I’ve used, I feel sick. It’s gotten to the point that I have to close my eyes or cover my nose before I enter a bathroom. Clearly this is in my head; I know it is. I’m so sensitive to smells lately! I know I’m not pregnant.I’m 39 years old. Could this be a part of menopause? Just typing this and thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Am I crazy?
Rhonda
Dear Rhonda,
The most likely scenario here is that you were physically sick with a real ailment that struck when you were in the bathroom and smelled their cleaner. Now you associate the cleaner smell as the cause of the illness when it was really just an associated event. So, what to do? First, verify you have no physical cause for your illness — I never believe that any condition is just “in your head”. There’s always a cause, even if we can’t find it right away. Smell sensitivity associated with nausea and vomiting is classic in pregnancy, so you need to make certain you are not pregnant. Take a pregnancy test to officially rule it out. I’ve heard of some reports of these symptoms in menopause, but that’s unlikely — especially at only 39. The next step is a complete medical evaluation to make sure there isn’t something physically wrong that’s causing the nausea, for example a GI infection, liver disease or something more serious. If all the above tests yield normal results, then you could choose to see a psychiatrist. This might well be a type of anxiety, and either medicine or therapy could definitely help. I know all these evaluations and tests sound like a lot of trouble, but I must assume that you wouldn’t have written me unless this was really bothering you. I recommend you get the medical work-up.
Dr. Archer
Dear Dr. Archer,
My parents gamble at a local casino at least twice a week for a few hours at a time. They have a set amount of money they bring with them when they go, and they don’t go over that limit. They’ve worked hard their whole lives, and now that my father is retired, this is something they enjoy doing together. They’re financially secure and I feel like it’s their money and if they enjoy spending it this way, that’s their choice. They tell us about their big wins from time to time, but we never hear about how much they lose. My sister thinks they are addicted to gambling and we should talk to them about their problem. What do you think?
Jana
Hi Jana,
In order to determine whether your parents have a gambling problem or addiction, you first must determine whether the gambling is affecting the way they wish to live their lives. Examples of a problem gambler would include a person who has financial difficulties due to money lost; who misses events or family functions in order to go gambling; who spends more and more time at the casino gambling at odd hours of the day and night; and, finally, who has legal difficulties that have due to credit problems. In this case, none of the above seems to apply. Your sister may not agree about how they spend their money. But you are correct. It is indeed their money, and as long as there are no problems, they should spend it the way they choose.
Dr. Archer
Dear Dr. Archer,
Our 15-year-old son recently drove my car to a friend’s house without our permission. He only has a permit to drive. On his way home, he drove off the road and into a ditch. The car was totaled and the police estimated he was going at least 50 mph in a 35 mph zone. Fortunately, he wasn’t hurt and didn’t hurt anyone else or damage any property, other than my car. My husband and I are struggling to come up with an appropriate punishment for his behavior. What would you suggest?
Kathy
Hi Kathy,
This is a tough situation for parents. You have to balance your anger at your son’s actions with your relief that he wasn’t hurt. As for an appropriate punishment, that depends on several factors. Has he done something like this before? By “something like this,” I mean, has he taken your car without permission before, or completely disregarded rules, snuck out of the house, etc.? If he has, the punishment should be more severe. Is he working? If so, an appropriate punishment might be that he turn over all money to you until your deductible is paid or until he has paid any other expenses associated with the car repair or insurance increases. If he’s not working, then you might set up a work arrangement at home or within the community where he could work off the reimbursement costs. Does he show remorse? If he does, you may feel that he’s learned a valuable lesson and no punishment is needed. If he doesn’t, then there’s cause for more concern and you need to be very vigilant going forward. Good luck.
Dr. Archer
Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs, and the author of the New York Times’ best-selling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.
Comments are closed.