Michael Kurth Wednesday, December 4, 2013 0

A month ago, Sen. Ted Cruz led a last-ditch effort by conservative Republicans to derail, or at least delay, the implementation of Obamacare. The Democrats protested that the Affordable Care Act was the law and couldn’t be changed, then shut down the federal government rather than negotiate over even the smallest detail.

I bet a lot of Democrats now wish Cruz had won., the $500 million website designed by a Canadian company with connections to the president’s wife, turned out to be a total train wreck — testimony to failure of the Obama administration to manage the bloated federal bureaucracy and the President’s lack of interest in details.

But more important, it soon became apparent that Obama knowingly lied about a key element of the Affordable Care Act when he repeated over and over that “if you like your insurance, you can keep your insurance, and if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.” And a chorus of Democrats repeated that mantra to their constituents.

Democrats love to deride Republicans for their lack of unity, but the Democrats’ lock-step performance in the parade led by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi is now coming back to haunt them. Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu recently accompanied the president on his flight to New Orleans where he was to give a major speech, but disappeared as soon as the plane landed.

Speculation is that she, and many other democrats facing re-election, are trying to get as far away as they can from Obama and his plunging poll numbers.

And in Congress, Democrats just voted with the Republicans to modify the Affordable Care Act by allowing people to keep their insurance even if it fails to meet government standards … a bill Obama has said he will veto.

I suspect Republican challengers around the country are busy collecting footage of their opponents repeating Obama’s many pledges to the American people that turned out to be, well, “unfulfilled.” Everyone to the lifeboats … this is not a drill.


The Affordable Boat Act

Congress has just passed “The affordable boat act.” Until now, as a rule, only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase a boat. This new law ensures that every American can now have an “affordable” boat of their own.

These “affordable” boats will cost an average of $54,000-155,000 each, not including taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, and maintenance or repair costs.

Every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four “free” life jackets.

In order to ensure that everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of private boats will increase on an average of 250-400 percent per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain.

But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined. Children under the age of 26 can use their parents’ boats to party on until they turn 27; then they must purchase their own boat.

If you already own a boat, you can keep your boat (just kidding; no you can’t).  If you like your marina, you can keep your marina (just kidding again; new government regulations limit the amount marinas can charge to $25 a month, so most private marinas will go out of business).

If you don’t want or don’t need a boat, you are still required to buy a boat. If you refuse to buy a boat or can’t afford a boat, you’ll be fined $800 a year until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, land-locked urban areas or Oklahoma are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, inexperience, lack of navigational knowledge or aquaphobia aren’t acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board composed of “experts” who don’t know the difference between port, starboard or stern will decide everything about the appropriate used of your boat, including when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat; how many people can ride your boat; and if one is too old or not healthy enough to use their boat. This board will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness; if you must purchase specific accessories, such as environmentally safe waste storage and disposal devices; or if you must buy a boat powered by renewable energy, such as the wind or waves. A separate government board must approve the name for each boat to avoid culturally insensitive names. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain free boats (that is, boats paid for with tax dollars). Unions, bankers and mega-companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

Note: These boats are sold on dry land and can’t be put in water until after you purchase them.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat … or ANYTHING else.  Yea … it’s that stupid.