Practicing physicians in Cairo, Egypt, opened a surgery-themed restaurant called D. Kebda in July, where they wear surgical scrubs and prepare their only offering, grilled beef-liver sandwiches, behind a glass partition. Kebda is a popular street food in Egypt, but it can cause food poisoning if it’s not prepared carefully. “We tried to take our career values and apply them to this other field,” said Mostafa Basiouny, one of the owners. “There is no contradiction between them; we are still practicing doctors.”
Everybody Knows You Can’t See A Lizardman In The Dark!
The South Carolina Emergency Management Division issued an alert on Aug. 9 in advance of the total solar eclipse on Aug. 21 asking South Carolinians to be “vigilant” and look out for “Lizardmen” during the celestial event. “SCEMD does not know if Lizardmen become more active during a solar eclipse,” the note reads. “But we advise that residents of Lee and Sumter counties should remain vigilant.” The folkloric reptilian beast is thought to live in swampland around Lee County and frequent sewers in nearby towns. While some people thought the warning might be a joke, SCEMD said it “will neither confirm nor deny” the existence of Lizardmen.
It’s Raining Sausage
The Adair family of Deerfield Beach, Fla., were startled awake on July 15 by the sound of something crashing onto their roof. When they investigated, they found two packages of Italian pork sausage in the side yard, and three more packages on the roof. The sausages were in bags marked with the name of a land-clearing company in Alabama. Austin Adair called the company to inquire about the wayward sausages, but “the guy had no idea what I was talking about and probably thought I was crazy,” he said. The mystery remains unsolved. “I would love to know what really happened,” said Jennie Adair, “because it’s just so, so odd.”
You’re Never Too Old To Act Out
Customers at a Flying J truck stop in West Hanover Township, Va., got quite a show on Aug. 14 when Craig Troccia, 54, of Roanoke, smashed the windshield of his truck and poured a cup of urine onto the interior. Wait — did we mention Troccia was naked? Next, he yelled a racial epithet at a black man and flashed everyone within sight. Then he pointed a gun at the same man he shouted at, then fixed the gun on another man and threatened to kill them both. After state troopers loaded Troccia into their cruiser, he “slammed his body and head on the various panels of the vehicle,” they reported. He was charged with 34 criminal counts, including public drunkenness.
The Naked Truth
— In Lawrence, Kan., Christopher Steven Carlson, 34, of Riley, took advantage of the warm temperatures on July 30 to stroll down a sidewalk in the busy college town in his birthday suit. Police first arrested Carlson around 2 pm in downtown Lawrence for indecent exposure, after which he paid his $500 fine and was released. He caught a taxi from the Douglas County Jail back to the downtown area, where he stiffed the driver, left his clothes in the car and resumed his in-the-buff constitutional. Local business owner Meg Heriford said: “Our customers were not alarmed. It was more like, ‘Hey, there’s a naked guy.’”
— On July 16, Travis Tingler, 32, stood naked outside his girlfriend’s house in Manitowoc, Wisc., shouting and threatening to hurt the people inside. When police arrived, they tried and failed to get Tingler back into his pants, so they handcuffed him. As they struggled to put him in the police car, a probe from an officer’s stun gun struck Tingler’s lighter, igniting his chest and hairs. An officer was able to pat the fire out.
— Drivers along route A66 in Workington, Cumbria, in England, recently spied four “shame-faced” men walking along the road wearing nothing but sneakers. The four “protected their modesty with cupped hands” and appeared to be walking quickly, according to Kathryn Lynn, 50, who drove by with her husband and daughter and snapped a photo of the odd group. “It was a bit of a shock to see,” she said.
In Green Bay, Wisc., the Spartans of Vincent T. Lombardi Middle School won’t be playing football this year because of a lack of coaches. Jim Van Abel, principal of the school named after the revered coach of the Green Bay Packers, told parents in a letter that the district had been advertising for coaching positions since April, to no avail. Student Alex Coniff said last year 55 students played on the school’s two football teams. Interestingly, the district was also unable to provide a representative to be interviewed for the story.
The Job Of The Researcher
Sexing certain species of turtles used to be an invasive process, sometimes requiring surgery on the little guy or gal. But Donald McKnight, a Ph.D. student at James Cook University in Queensland, Australia, has perfected a method that speeds up the process — and presumably pleases the shelled reptile. McKnight uses a vibrator to stimulate the underside of the turtle, which causes a male to “reveal himself,” sometimes in as little as 4 seconds. McKnight did his research in Oklahoma on threatened western chicken turtles.
Dilworth, Minn., police officer Brad Browning suffered a bout of bad luck on Aug. 2 after he pulled over a car with a burned-out headlight. There was a warrant for the driver, Stephen Hietala, 27, of Perham. When officers tried to handcuff Hietala, he resisted, prompting one officer to fire his Taser, which missed Heitala and hit Officer Browning instead. Hietala took off running, with Browning chasing on foot. Soon, a sheriff’s deputy arrived with a police dog. But as Browning cornered Hietala in an alley, the dog bit Browning instead of the criminal. Officers finally arrested Hietala for fleeing a police officer and drug possession.
In Munich, Germany, Benjamin David swims to work. “When I was on my bike, I would yell at cars,” David said. “When I was on foot, I would yell at cyclists. … Just a few meters to the side of the road is the Isar river, and if you just swim down that, it’s completely relaxed and refreshing.” David stores his work clothes, laptop and mobile phone in a waterproof bag, and the river’s current sometimes allows him to float along his 1.2-mile route and enjoy the scenery — including bystanders on bridges.
Two Subway sandwich shop workers in Coventry, R.I., frustrated a potential robber by acting like teenagers — ignoring his demands for money until he finally gave up and left the store. Police told a local news station that the robber, caught on security cameras, looked “exasperated” and “mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the business.”
A Hartford City, Ind., man was identified by police by a tattoo on the back of his neck. The incident started when James Jason Buck, 33, pounded on the door of a Muncie home, demanding a drink, and homeowners called the police. At first, the man said he was Robert Dill, 37, of Florida. But when an officer noticed his tattoo that read “Buck,” and called him Mr. Buck, he confessed his real name and date of birth. Mr. Buck had a plastic bag filled with crystal methamphetamine, and, officers discovered, a long rap sheet.
Working Teen Makes $1 Mil-plus!
When federal agents turned up with a search warrant at the Miami home of 19-year-old Phyllistone Termine, they interrupted the teenager as he crafted a summer to-do list. Items on the list included buying credit card numbers and security codes on the “dark web.” It turned out Termine had used stolen Social Security numbers from more than 1,000 victims to collect unemployment benefits in excess of $1 million. Next to his bed were blank white credit cards with magnetic strips and equipment to encode those strips. Termine was sentenced to 4 1/2 years in federal prison, where his organizational skills may be put to some legal purpose.
Really Bad Person
In a shocking display of mischief, an unnamed 60-year-old man in Singapore is under investigation for lodging three toothpicks in a seat on a public bus in July. If he is found to be the culprit, he could spend up to two years in prison. Singapore has an extremely low crime rate, and even minor offenses result in harsh punishments. For example, vandalism is punishable by caning. Police said at press time that the investigation was continuing.
On Aug. 7, 16-year-old Jack Bergeson of Wichita, Kan., filed papers to run for governor of Kansas as a Democrat in the 2018 race. Bergeson, who won’t be able to vote in that election, said: “I thought, you know, let’s give the people of Kansas a chance. Let’s try something new.” The candidate says he would “radically change” health care and would support legalizing medical marijuana. But he’s conservative on gun rights. Bryan Caskey, director of elections at the Kansas secretary of state’s office, said there is no law governing the qualifications for governor. Bergeson’s running mate, 17-year-old Alexander Cline, will be 18 by the election and will get to vote.
— A skunk got up close and personal with a 13-year-old boy on July 25 when it climbed into his bed in Hamden, Conn., apparently after coming into the house in a trash can. The family was able to remove the skunk without the help of the Hamden Animal Control Division. But an officer said the “smell of skunk … emanated throughout the house.”
— The Scardillo Cheese factory in Burnaby, B.C., blames a squirrel for a fire that resulted in more than 20,000 gallons of milk being spoiled on Aug. 8. The squirrel chewed through a main power line on the outside of the building. That sparked the fire, and power could not be restored for 12 hours. Already-made cheese was kept cool with generators, but milk being readied to make cheese warmed and went bad.
Least Competent Criminals
— Criminal justice student Jordan Dinsmore, 20, of Columbia, S.C., had her car’s manual transmission to thank for her safe escape on July 26. Three men approached her around 1 am and pointed guns at her. After robbing her of her phone and purse, the men forced her into her car, threatening to kidnap and rape her. But when they realized none of them knew how to drive her stick-shift car, one of the criminals ran away. The other two forced Dinsmore to drive to an ATM to withdraw cash. As she drove, Dinsmore removed her seatbelt, then put the car in neutral and jumped out, screaming, “Call 911! Call 911!” to passing motorists. The Richland County Sheriff’s Department arrested a 15- and 17-year-old in the kidnapping and robbery.
— Surveillance video from a July 27 break-in at the home of John C. Burbage, 59, of Naples, Fla., showed pictures of surprisingly familiar perpetrators: Harold Russell Lanham, 22, and his dad, James Edward Lanham, 41, both of whom Burbage employed and both of whom were wearing their work uniforms as they walked across his lawn. The Lanham duo stole a safe containing more than $30,000 worth of cash and property from their boss’ home.
The Weirdo-American Community
Residents of Hollis, Maine, were unnerved on the evening of July 25 as Corey Berry, 31, wearing a clown mask, walked around town with a machete duct-taped to the place where his arm had been amputated. When the intoxicated Berry was taken into custody in nearby Waterboro, he explained to officers that he was copying other clown sightings as a prank. One annoyed Hollis resident warned: “He’s not funny. We live in the woods; you think we don’t have guns? He’s … lucky.”
Jeremy A. Perkins, 27, was led astray by someone who told him “the purge” was happening on Aug. 12 in Kansas City, Mo. (“The Purge” was a 2013 horror film that envisioned a temporary decriminalization of all criminal acts.) High on methamphetamine, Perkins climbed to the top of a building and began throwing rocks at passing vehicles. Perkins told responding officers that he perceived everyone as his enemy and was trying to protect himself. He added that if he had had a gun, he would have shot people.
The Continuing Crisis
— Of eight candidates for Detroit mayor in the Aug. 8 primary, half were convicted felons, the Detroit News reported. Three women and one man have convictions for such offenses as gun crimes and assault with intent to commit murder. “Black marks on your record show you have lived a little and have overcome some challenges,” opined political consultant Greg Bowens. Michigan law allows convicted felons to vote and run for office unless they are currently incarcerated or their offenses are fraud-related or constitute a breach of public trust. None of the felons advanced to the general election.
— There are 70 registered voters in McIntire, Iowa. But not one of them showed up to vote in a two-question special election on Aug. 1. Mitchell County deputy auditor Barbara Baldwin told reporters that even poll workers didn’t vote because none of them live in McIntire, which is 130 miles northeast of Des Moines.