Lake Charles poet Jennifer Reeser’s new poem — a sonnet — was just published by the well-known periodical National Review. I had no idea that National Review published poems. But it’s been a few years since I’ve been able to afford to buy a magazine at the going rates.
Reeser’s sonnet, titled “Homeland,” creates a vaguely sinister feeling in the reader. There are troubling mentions of those with the ability to poison others and the “cruel contraband” that “X-Ray vans” (those of Homeland Security, perhaps?) search for. There is the suggestion that in the age of the War on Terror, Americans are terrified of some horrible, unforeseeable violent event (even if no such event is forthcoming).
So this is a poem about current events, which is certainly an ideal subject matter for National Review. As of Nov. 1, you could find Reeser’s poem at nationalreview.com/corner/441298/ reeser-poem. Or you can just search for the poem “HOMELAND” at nationalreview.com.
Nobody makes a lot of money from poetry. But Reeser’s done all right for herself. X.J. Kennedy wrote that her poetry volume An Alabaster Flask “ought to have been a candidate for a Pulitzer.” Her translations of the poetry of Charles Baudelaire and Anna Akhmatova has received critical acclaim. Learn more at jenniferreeser.com.
Martindale: Another Musical First
In the last edition, the Up Fronter wrote about local songwriter Justin Martindale dropping his first CD.
Turns out Martindale will be involved in another musical first the day after this magazine hits the stands. He’ll be the headline performer of the kick-off concert for the new venue called The Listening Room, which is located in the Historic Cash And Carry Building at 801 Enterprise Blvd. in Lake Charles. The show is slated to run from 7-10 pm. Cover for the show is $14.
Folks at The Listening Room say they plan to feature Lake Area musicians, singers, songwriters and storytellers, all of whom will perform in an intimate setting. It’s hoped this way of performing will foster a close connection between the performer and the audience.
If you don’t read this in time for the show, have no worries. Martindale’s name is starting to turn up regularly in the music schedules of local venues. Faithful reading of Lagniappe’s The List (in the back of the mag) is one good way to stay on top of Martindale’s doings.
Entrepreneur’s Delight
There’s only one place in Louisiana where you can experience a big city — or what I call a “real city” — and that’s New Orleans. But can a person from a place like, say, Lake Charles start a new business in the Crescent City as easily as a New Orleans native can?
You can find out. The Silicon Bayou News recently published an article titled “Entrepreneurship Resources in New Orleans” that goes into great detail about events and organizations in N.O. that are designed to help those thinking of going into business.
The biggest event of this type is the New Orleans Entrepreneur Week (noew.org). There are 118 events scheduled for the March 19-24 NOEW of next year.
The NOLA Meetup for entrepreneurs takes place on the third Tuesday of each month at 5:30 pm. The meetup’s focus is “New Orleans tech and start-up culture.” Each meeting is held at a different location; check meetup.com/nolameetup/ to find out where to go.
NOLA Tech Week (“the largest free technology conference in the south” — nolatechweek.org) takes place each fall, and the three-day start-up event Collision is set to coincide with Jazz Fest. (The Collision motto is “Come for Collision. Stay for Jazz Fest.”) Reps of 4,500 companies make it to this shindig. (See collisionconf.com.)
The big New Orleans organizations set up to aid entrepreneurs include The Idea Village (ideavillage.org), which holds monthly workshops and other community events. Propeller (gopropeller.org) also holds regular events. They’re especially interested in start-ups related to food access, water management, health and educational equity. Lookfar (lookfar.com) offers personalized advice to entrepreneurs. The Up Fronter has already written about New Orleans Airlift (newolearnsairlift.org), which aims to aid entrepreneurs in the arts.
OK. The Up Fronter has given you the internet addresses. It’s up to you to do the rest.
I’m Sure It Was Worth It
I thought I had an obligation to the public to start the column with the serious stuff. We’re done with that, so we can now move straight into the lurid stuff. If you’ve been skimming the column, looking for the lurid stuff, you can start reading … right … now.
This issue’s trek to the Twilight Zone takes us to the little hamlet of Kenner (pop. 60,000). Three N.O. women in their early 20s — Wilson, Cains and Monroe — just got popped by the po-po for trying to steal Halloween costumes priced at $440.
I imagine police weren’t all that concerned about the shoplifting. What got their attention was what the perps did after they were caught shoplifting.
Three store managers followed Cains and Monroe, who still had stolen goods, from the store into the parking lot. Williams was waiting in the car.
One perp decided to neutralize two of the managers by drenching them with pepper spray. When that didn’t work, the two started beating and kicking the managers.
At some point, the two assailants made it back to the car and hooked up with Williams. But when they saw a store manager was trying to get the car’s license number, they jumped out, grabbed her by the hair, threw her to the ground and gave her the worst beating yet. Witnesses allege the perps “stomped” on the victim’s face; facial bones were fractured.
Eventually, this trio of geniuses managed to get their car — with them in it — out of the parking lot. In a couple of minutes, police surrounded and arrested them.
Among the charges the criminals will face are second-degree battery, simple battery, disturbing the peace, theft and driving with no license, a fake registration certificate and someone else’s plates.
Even with all this mayhem, we haven’t yet gotten to the kicker. Two of these master thieves had outstanding warrants from other jurisdictions. As a result, while the amounts of their bonds were rather low, they were held without bail because of the fugitive warrants.
Now they’re going to have to explain to the other prisoners how they got into this hot mess over some Halloween costumes. I hope they lie better than they steal.
The Funnies
Computer at Carl’s Jr. kiosk: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!
Woman at Carl’s Jr. kiosk: You didn’t give me no fries. I got an empty box.
Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES?
Woman: I said I didn’t get any!
Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase.
Woman: What? Oh no, no!
Computer: I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I’m sorry you’re having trouble.
Woman: Come on! My kids are starvin’!
Computer: Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl’s Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl’s Jr.
[New customer approaches the kiosk.]
Computer: Welcome to Carl’s Jr. Would you like to try our EXTRA BIG ASS TACO? Now with more MOLECULES!
[The U.S. Cabinet of 2050 is debating the option of putting water, instead of the sports drink Brawndo, on dying crops.]
Pvt. Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson): What are these electrolytes [in Brawndo]? Do you even know?
Sec. of State: They’re what they use to make Brawndo.
Bowers: But why do they use them to make Brawndo?
Sec. of Defense: Because Brawndo’s got electrolytes.
— Idiocracy, 2006, Dir. Mike Judge
The Post-Mortem
When I got the latest presidential election results early on the morning of Nov. 9, I felt as if I’d called all the country’s greatest experts on some great question into a huge coliseum, and every single expert answered the question wrong. How, I (and many others) wondered, could every expert have gotten it wrong?
If you’re a political junkie, you know that only one — and I mean only one — national poll consistently predicted a Trump victory. That one poll was the L.A. Times poll. It was widely ridiculed for its numbers. But you can be sure it is now about to get the kind of good publicity no amount of money can buy.
All the other experts — even those at Fox News — had to spin, back-pedal, gulp coffee and fight shell shock as they tried to explain how they’d gone so very far off the mark.
No one ever really explained. Perhaps explanation was impossible. But some definitely had a firm grasp of the problem. Here are some election night quotations worth pondering and remembering:
• “My crystal ball has been shattered into atoms. Tonight, data died. I could not have been more wrong about this election.” — Mike Murphy, a Republican strategist, talking on MSNBC.
• “We were not having a reality-based conversation [during the last few weeks].” — John King of CNN, as he looked at a U.S. map that showed Trump approaching victory.
• In his election coverage for Showtime, Stephen Colbert said, “I’m not sure it’s a comedy show anymore.” He then told the audience Trump had won Florida. Some in the audience gasped or said, “Oh no!”
Journalist Mark Halperin: “[Trump] is now on the doorstep of 270 electoral votes.”
Colbert: “Wow. That’s a horrifying prospect … I can’t put … I cannot put a … I can’t put a happy face on that. And that is my job. [The audience didn’t laugh.] … In the face of something that might strike you as horrible, I think laughter is the best medicine. You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time.”
• Then there’s always that one guy who still doesn’t get it. This time, the guy was Joshua Dyck, co-director of the Center for Public Opinion at the Univ. of Mass.-Lowell, who told USA Today, “We know now that the national polling lead was a little tenuous.”
I think this is going to be one of those post-mortems that is just not going to please the D.A. And in keeping with Colbert’s comments on laughter, I’m going to propose that this might be the best opportunity you’ll ever get to watch Charlie Chaplin’s 1940 comedy The Great Dictator. Good night and good luck.
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