In the hypothetical ongoing rivalry between Lake Charles and Lafayette, the latter city just carved another notch in its belt. The first passengers from Denver, Colo., arrived in the Lafayette airport on July 18.
Just to prove the service went both ways, Daily Advertiser correspondent Jessica Goff bought a ticket to Denver that she photographed with her cell phone, posting the image on Twitter after she boarded.
We Can’t Buy A No. 1
I’ve got a bone to pick with the University of Hong Kong. The school, working in conjunction with Indiana University, just came out with a list of the most corrupt states in the U.S. Louisiana finished second. Who was first? Mississippi.
It’s always Mississippi, isn’t it? Any time you’re just certain Louisiana is finally going to finish first on a bad list or last on a good list, damned if Mississippi doesn’t sneak in and take it away from us. The report concluded that “states with higher levels of corruption are likely to favor construction, salaries, borrowing, correction and police protection at the expense of social sectors such as education, health and hospitals.”
Well, that’s just pathetic. Mississippi is making even deeper cuts to education, health and hospitals than Louisiana is. How is that possible? Could it be that they do it simply to guarantee that Louisiana must finish No. 2?
Obviously the thing to have done in this case would have been to throw some state money at the University of Hong Kong. I bet our state gubment didn’t even know the study was coming out. I don’t suppose Mississippi could have had anything to do with that.
On The Other Hand …
The Tax Foundation got a lot of press recently when it published a report on just what $100 will buy in the 50 states. Louisiana did very well this time around.
Turns out $100 Louisiana dollars will buy you $109 worth of stuff in this state. (It’s true, Mississippi beat us again; in that state $100 buys you $115 of goods. But I figured $109 was still pretty good.)
The Tax Foundation explained that the figures differ depending on what goods costs in various states. Gas, food, clothing and what have you just cost quite a bit less in Louisiana than they do in most places in the country (at least at present). On the other hand, if you live in New York, New Jersey, California or Hawaii, your $100 won’t even buy $90 worth.
The U.S. Dept. of Commerce’s Bureau of Economic Analysis also released new data on how much salaries are worth in major U.S. metro areas. Now, Lake Charles didn’t make this list, but Baton Rouge did.
Income in Baton Rouge averages $30,305, which is actually a tad more than what people make in Los Angeles. In actual buying power, you gain a bit in Baton Rouge, with a total of $30,860. So, unless you’re one of those people who thinks he can’t get by on $30,000 a year, you should be doing pretty well in Baton Rouge. (In L.A., by the way, your $30,000 a year will buy you only $24,000 worth of stuff. So says the bureau.)
The bureau also reported on change in “real personal income for states.” Louisiana finished right in the middle, which at least is not bad. Of course, “real personal income” means income after adjustments are made for inflation.
Election Report No. 5,998
It’s hard to believe, but we’re up to election report No. 5,998.
The good news is, the Lake Area has recovered its former dominance in the number of yard signs. For the last few years, SWLA had just plain dropped off the yard signs charts, with little communities in places like North Dakota and Kansas putting up far more signs per capita than our community.
That situation has been righted. Some front yards now have half a dozen signs in them. It’s just like the good old days.
I think the main explanation is that lots of people are running for judge of this and that. But it’s not as simple as all that. I believe at least two people are running for D.A. And I’m almost sure that some other people are running for some other offices.
As always, read this column for the most detailed and up-to-date local election news.
As for statewide races, I don’t have to tell you that some people think the Louisiana senate race could decide which party will control the U.S. Senate. Of course, we should know for sure before the election takes place. And Nate Silver’s poll-crunching and predicting have become so accurate that if you don’t like to follow election returns, you can just check Nate’s web site the day before the election to see who’s going to win. (You may remember that in 2012 he correctly predicted which candidate each of the 50 states would go for in the presidential election.)
If Louisiana does decide the balance of the U.S. Senate, it will have a lot more than 15 minutes of fame. The CNNers may even come to Lake Charles.
Here on the home turf, viewership of Fox News will soar higher than the customary levels; I mean, it will do that if it is statistically possible for that to be done. If 100 percent of the populace of the Lake Area is already watching Fox News, I’m not sure the viewership can increase. I’ll check my college statistics textbook on that one.
Anyhoo, if the Republicans gain control of both houses of Congress, Obama might as well spend the last two years of his presidency following Phish. He’ll have as much power as the guy who works in the sundries store in the White House lobby. He won’t actually have as much power as that guy, but I had to find some grounds for comparison.
Why Journalism? Why Now?
There are some people who say we should always look on the positive side — even when there isn’t one. Well, one of the most positive things in this world is that the Up Fronter gets hundreds of emails that have nothing to do with Southwest Louisiana.
Take the recent email from someone who calls himself Marc Anthony. It would be hard to beat the introduction, which reads as follows:
“Why is there suddenly so much about heaven, life after death and God? Why Now?” (Yes, “now” is capitalized.)
Suppose I asked you, “Why is there suddenly so much about food, money and sex? Why now?” I don’t know how you’d answer (or if you’d answer). But you’d certainly be well within your rights to answer, “Brad, there’s no ‘suddenly’ about it. People have always talked a lot about those things and they always will. They’re talking a lot about them ‘now,’ they talked about them yesterday and they’ll talk a lot about them tomorrow, world without end.”
Anthony’s agent is promoting Anthony’s new book — NEVER LETTING GO. Maybe the title should have been NEVER LETTING GO OF CAPITALS. The reader is told that the volume is the “definitive guide” to “healing grief” with “help from the Other Side.” Looks to me as if the book will also help you develop the ability to capitalize words that aren’t supposed to be capitalized.
But what are Anthony’s credentials? What makes him qualified to write a book on such heady subjects?
Anthony, we are told, “is an Oxford educated attorney licensed to practice law in Florida, Washington, D.C. and before the U.S. Supreme Court.” Yeah, well, just for the record, I was educated at Cambridge, Princeton and Stanford — all at the same time. I’m fully licensed to prosecute perpetrators of starship crimes against planet earth in all the courts of Venus — including the Intergalactic Court of the Elders of Cthulu.
Here’s my favorite part of the email: the agent calls this guy “Mark Anthony the 3Psychic Lawyer®2.” Now, I’m willing to admit that the numerals 3 and 2 are very likely code errors. But, really, if you want to talk with your dear, departed loved one, are you going to entrust the task to a guy whose agent isn’t with it enough to work the basic computer commands?
And I could gripe about other things, too. Notice this guy wants to claim ownership of the phrase “psychic lawyer.” Yeah, on the one hand, it’s probably a smart move since, after all, thousands of people are going to want to call themselves “psychic lawyers” in the next few years. But isn’t there something suspect in wanting to “own” such general and profound terms as “psychic” and “lawyer”? And what if he decided he wanted to own even more abstract terms?
I mean, suppose I wanted to own the phrase “mellow journalist”? And I didn’t stop there. I might wind up calling myself something like:
Brad Goins® Mellow Journalist@
Arbiter Of Objectivity® And Truth@
Real Talk® And Peace Out® Yo®
Man, I can see myself having a hard time fitting all that on a business card.
Your Up Front Pick-Me-Up
One of the Twitter offerings of Forbes magazine is #AskForbes. On Aug. 19, Ask Forbes Tweeted this uplifting, encouraging and inspiring message:
“That’s true, entry level jobs really are disappearing.”
Our faithful Forbes correspondent was answering a question posed by blogger Rebecca Lisi: “What do you suggest for people trying to get their ‘foot in the door’? Low-experience jobs seem nonexistent.”
The topic of the Forbes Twitter-thon was “underemployment.” Forbes staff reporter Kathryn Dill responded to questions.
To be fair, those who are willing to take the two-year preparatory college-level courses at area educational institutions very likely can get entry level jobs with the big new projects that are coming into town. But if you haven’t already gotten on that train, now’s the time to do it.
I Can Contribute $3.50
OK. I’m about to write out a headline I read on Aug. 20. The headline came from E! If you don’t mind, read the headline and tell me whether there’s any chance this can possibly be true:
“NFL is asking if singers would pay for the honor of performing during the Super Bowl halftime show.”
I hope it is true! Why? The NFL is poor — dirt poor. People, we know this.
I think it makes sense to ask quarterbacks if they would pay for the honor of quarterbacking during the Super Bowl game. In fact, let’s go a step further and ask all quarterbacks and receivers if they would pay for the honor of starting in NFL games.
And it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to ask the guy who sells the hot cashews to do his part and chip in a little to the NFL also.
Joke
Want to hear a joke about a ghost?
That’s the spirit.
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